Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sucker Punch. [movie review]

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I really love movies, so I'm thinking about making this a regular thing on the blog. I watch way too many of these things and not sharing my favorites would be a crime!

Last night I watched Sucker Punch -- please, please, please don't let the poor reviews scare you away from this one... I've decided that the people who don't like this movie are in two categories: gross men who were disappointed in the lack of nudity and people who don't like thinking for themselves. The entire movie is up for interpretation, and that's one of the things that I love most about it... that and the fact that Emily Browning takes 'Girl Power' to a whole new level -- she is officially my hero of the week.

Two things that made the movie for me: Bjork (and the entire score of the movie in general... AWESOME!) and the creepy feel of the asylum... I was a psyc. major so anything having to do with creepy mental institutions and human experimentation really catches my attention!

The movie is about a young girl who has been sent away to an asylum by her abusive step father. She quickly learns to escape reality by retreating into her mind, and the line between reality and fantasy is definintly blurred from beginning to end. When she arrives at the asylum, she is told that she will undergo a lobotomy in 5 days. She meets several others girls and they all must work together to retrieve 5 items that are needed to break free from the facility -- something nobody has ever been able to do.

The really cool thing about this film is it's several imaginary worlds in one... meaning, it's hard to tell when historically the story is taking place, and the entire setting is very dream like. I hate to compare it to this, but it has a very 'video game' feel to it... but I was surprised that this drew me in even more rather than turning me off. I was literally on the edge of my seat throughout the film, unable to even leave to go to the bathroom (I don't usually like action movies like this, and my plan was to eat popcorn and sleep for 2 hours).

I was worried about how I would feel about this film, because I knew going in that the main character (and the other girls in the asylum) are raped -- the asylum turns into a brothel at the beginning of the film. I think many of you will be happy to know that you do not see any sex scenes and it's amazing how you don't really see these young girls as sex objects at all, but rather a group of really strong, powerful women (hence group 1 that I mentioned earlier not liking the movie). This allowed me to completely enjoy the movie, because watching young girls have sex with old men really isn't my thing...

The feminist undertones in this film really blew me away, and I left feeling like I could accomplish nearly anything. I found myself rooting for this group of girls, and emotionally relating to each of them in different ways. The ending totally caught me off guard, and for me this is what made the movie so incredible. I would compare the ending to movies such as Shutter Island or Inception (yes two Leo movies... sorry, he's hands down my favorite actor!) in the sense that you will undoubtedly leave this movie and continue to think about it long after you leave the theatre.

If you've seen this movie, I'd love to hear what you thought about it! If you haven't seen it yet, what's the best movie you've seen lately?

Monday, March 28, 2011

Weekend Recap

Monday morning always leaves me feeling extremely tired. I try to cram everything fun that I can think of into the two days that I'm home, and while I usually have a really awesome weekend.... when it's over I'm totally worn out!

By the way - what happened to the warm weather? Last Friday it was 80 degrees, and this weekend it was freezing outside!

Anyway, Friday was a pretty awesome day. I went to a meeting in the morning and then had planned on getting my hair (re)done on my lunch break and then coming back to work. Well, I know the owner of the salon and it really paid off because she blocked her whole afternoon off just for me! Needless to say....... I was there from 1 until 4:30 and so it was a day off and I didn't even plan it! Thank goodness my boss was cool about it...

My parent's picked Sean & I up around 6 o'clock and we had dinner together at Baja Bean Co. I ordered 'The Whole Enchilada' which had shredded chicken, corn salsa, cheese and rice and was sooooooo amazingly good! Then, we hopped in the car and drove to the Landmark Theatre to see The Wizard of Oz. I had forgotten how gorgeous this building is, and was amazed by the detail on the walls and ceiling. It was built in the 1920's and I kept hoping that a ghost would appear around each corner.... there is no way that a place this old and with this much history isn't haunted! We sat on the top balcony, and if you look up there's a gigantic dome in the center that looks like a faberge egg with tiny blue windows around it. I kept looking up at it during the show, it was b r e a t h t a k i n g!

Saturday, Sean and I slept in and spent the entire day watching television. This wasn't planned, but it was very much needed... and trust me, nothing feels better than a midday nap! We had some friends over around dinner time and had a few drinks before heading over to Legends. It's been a while since I've been out, and honestly I had forgotten how much fun it can be! I need to make more of an effort to do this once a week... because once we have kids, the days of staying up until 2 am (Sean was up until 4!) are pretty much over. Unless you count getting up for crying babies.

Sunday was probably my favorite day. Sean and I went to the mall to get our rings resized (I can't believe I won't have my wedding bands for almost 3 weeks!) and had lunch in the food court. Afterwards, we drove to my friend's house and watched the VCU game... let me just say, I am not one to enjoy watching sports. At superbowl parties, I socialize the entire time and usually don't even pay attention to the commercials. But this game was soooo good, and it was so awesome hearing about Richmond, Va! I felt so much pride for my city... and the guys are really amazing! Go VCU! Go VCU! Go VCU!

Here's a before/after picture of my hair... I'm still getting used to it!

Before:

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After:
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P.S. --  Friday was exactly one week since Imogen's been gone. I've been thinking of something special to do to memorialize her (since I experienced so much with her and she was such a big part of my life) and I think I've come up with a pretty cool tattoo design. Ferret's are pretty strange animals anyway, so it's going to be a conversation piece for sure! More on that later...



Friday, March 25, 2011

somebody has to say it - v.02 [special anniversary addition!]

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Somebody has to say it........ teenage love is awesome, especially your first love. I might even go as far to say that *nothing* beats it, or ever compares to it. You know the feeling, sweaty hands... heart racing... big, stupid grin on your face at all hours of the day and night. Do you remember your first love?

Ten years ago today, I met my soul mate. And it is so crazy to think that time has gone by so quickly. I had just broken up with some jerk (you know, the way older scumbag that I was only dating because my parents hated him) and I was feeling pretty down. Actually, I was feeling like I wanted to get him back because I distinctly remember him breaking up with me over instant message and then finding out later that he was trying to get with one of my friends. Awesome. Anyway, I was babysitting at my church and we were out on the playground when I see this HOT guy walk by. I was very, very shy... but somehow I managed to spit out a hello and the rest is history.

I remember talking to him that night and feeling like I was going to throw up because my stomach had so many butterflies in it. I had dated a few guys, but none of them were very nice to me and it felt really great to be asked about my opinions and to talk to some one who seemed so genuine. I remember going to bed that night with a gigantic grin on my face, and then the utter shock and excitement when the phone rang and it was actually him! (I had always been told that guys play little games and wait at least 3 days to call a girl, and was over the moon excited that he called me THAT night!)

So, he asked me out on a double date (April 1st - we saw The Mexican and part of Chocolate, and had our first kiss!) and from that point on we have been inseparable. I quickly forgot about that moron I was trying to make jealous, because I was lucky enough to find a guy that didn't play games.

Sometimes I reminisce about 'the old days' when we were so young, so inexperienced, and so free of baggage. Everything was new, and I was so lucky to meet some one who made me feel so good about myself... he really pulled me out of my shell. Seriously, who finds something like this when they're 14?

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What was your first love like?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

making lemonaide...

As many of you know, I applied to grad school several months ago (read more about it here). If I'm being honest.... I was somewhat over-confident that I'd get in. I have a psychology undergrad, 5 years experience in the field, amazing references, a killer essay........... what more could they want? I'm sure you can imagine my anger/frustration/disbelief/saddness when I got the letter in the mail yesterday telling me that I did not get in.

I kind of felt like the dorky kid who didn't get invited to the popular table at lunch, and who sits alone in the bathroom to avoid the embarrassment that they're not cool enough to fit in. I cried, complained, screamed. Now what? I really hate it when you have a specific plan for you life, and it suddenly takes a sharp left turn when you were supposed to turn right. THIS IS NOT IN THE PLAN!!!!

What hurt most was my pride. I knew I'd get in... I thought for sure that they would all sit around praising my application and writing abilities and dedication to the field. Like I was a peace offering from the social work gods or something. But, alas... reality slapped me in the face and boy did that hurt.

But, honestly, I'm tired of being sad. So many things have happened this year already that I just cannot take sulking and crying and being overly dramatic about this. I didn't get in. The sooner I face this fact, the sooner I can figure out why and either apply again next semester or figure out what the heck else I'm going to do. It's a big wide world out there, and I truly believe that when some doors close... others open.

So rather than sulking last night, I took Sean out for dinner at a local brewery down the street called Legends. I ate 2 hot dogs and he had a bowl of chili... we split a basket of onion rings and ordered a few beers and just talked about life. I left feeling really good about myself, and really good about our marriage and the direction our relationship has taken over these past few years. I'm really lucky to have a supportive and loving husband, friends and family. I'm also lucky to have an incredible job and the fact that we are finally in the position to start talking about buying a house in the Summer. Even though I didn't get into grad school, I know deep deep down that everything will be ok. I know where my passions lie, and now I just have to see where they lead me.

Lesson of the week: Don't get cought up in plans that you have made for your life. Enjoy the ride, and let things work out naturally.


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Camping Season!

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[image found on google]

Today has been pretty un-eventful... work wise... so my minds naturally been wandering to other things, specifically my excitement that it's once again camping season! Last year I didn't get to go as much as I would like, but we did manage to squeeze one great trip in with another couple that I can't seem to get enough of :)

I've already started planning a few trips, because I really want to make camping a regular part of my life - and I was pleasantly surprised to see that some of my friends are feeling the same! There really is nothing better than the freedom that comes with sleeping outside, cuddled up to a warm campfire with comfort foods such as s'mores, hot dogs (lol @ Denise), doritos of every flavor, and an ice cold beer. Laughing with friends only makes these experiences fonder.

Our first camping trip of the season is going to be the weekend of Earth Day (how perfect is that?) Our house isn't very religious, so I didn't realize that this is actually Easter weekend... but to me, Easter is symbolic of renewal and the one holiday that seems to celebrate Spring and everything that is in bloom - so a camping trip makes sense to us (plus, we'll be home Sunday morning anyway)! I hope that this can become a tradition, because I would love for my children to one day look forward to spending Earth Day in a sleeping bag underneath the stars. The thought of my future family huddled around a campfire makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)

Anyway, I invited some of our closest friends on a 3 night adventure at Northlanding Beach and I'm so excited because our campsite will be right on the water! I've never gone camping on the beach before, so I have a feeling this weekend will be pretty memorable. And for now, the only 'babies' I'll be cuddled up with will be our two pups Pete and Samson... which is fine with me!

Do you like to go camping? I'd love to hear some of your favorite camping spots!






Tuesday, March 22, 2011

taking the good with the bad.

Although this weekend was pretty emotional, there were also good parts that are worth mentioning. My mom lives about an hour away, so it was nice to spend some time with her. She came in on Thursday, I took her out for dinner at Bottoms Up Pizza , and then she was pretty awesome and took me to the grocery and let me pick out all of the food I wanted (really really cool, especially since my fridge consisted of cheese and beer. period.)!

On Friday we had to be up bright and early (I got up around 5:45 a.m.) and she drove me to Williamsburg, Va for a training. She shopped while I learned about Yoga, Nutrition, and Music Therapy. As far as trainings go, this one was pretty rad! It made me really miss my daily meditation, and also made me want to experiment with this.

Friday was kind of a tough day, and after leaving the emergency vet we decided to pick up dinner at La Bamba... which was perfect because this place is a little whole in the wall, meaning there weren't many people around. I gulped down a 32 oz. margarita and we cried a little together. It felt good to get that emotion out in a safe place.

Saturday morning I woke up to cinnamon rolls (ugh... so g o o d!) and we hurried to get dressed so that we could go out and shop a little before Sean returned from his work conference. We went to Target (where I picked up 4 awesome cardigans, starbucks, and dog food... retail therapy is THE best!), Pet Smart (where I got a travel crate for Pete -- we're going to D.C. together in a few weeks... more on that later!), and then ended the day at Applebee's for a big salad. Oh, we also got pedicures... so relaxing and much needed!

My mom went home Saturday afternoon and that night Sean and I sat around watching movies. We usually go out, but I was totally drained and he was kind enough to keep me company - even though I passed out around 11 o'clock (whoops)! We finished the weekend off at my in-law's house on Sunday... where we had dinner and just hung out. The perfect ending to any weekend!

Most of all, this weekend was full of people checking in on me and sharing memories they had of little Imogen. It was really cool to see how many people she made an impact on, and made me happy that she had a life full of so much love! To everyone out there who wrote on my facebook, commented on this blog, called me, texted me, emailed me, and hugged me -- THANK YOU! It's so much easier getting through a hard time when so many people are there showing support. I love you guys :)

So... before I wrap up the sad Imogen posts completely, I thought I'd share a few pictures I found from Imogen's glory days in college! My friend Nicky said it best... how many ferrets really get to experience COLLEGE?!?! And trust me, she lived it up like the rest of us...

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Imogen, Rest in Peace

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I don't know what to say other than this weekend was extremely, unexpectedly, emotionally exhausting. I had a work conference in Williamsburg, Va on Friday, so I got up extra early and hand fed Imogen like I had been for the past several days. She ate, but she didn't look any better. Watching her try to climb into her blankets was heartbreaking, because she just didn't have the strength to do it.

I thought about her the entire day at the conference. I remembered the first day I brought her home, how she bounced around my room and how I invited my friends over to see her and how funny she was. I thought about how every year, she would come with me to college. When it snowed, she would put on turtle-necks that I made out of tube socks and tunnel around in the snow. She was a good friend.

I also thought about the reality that she was an old ferret. I hoped that maybe something was wrong with her spine, or maybe she had something wrong with her tooth... something fixable.

But I got home that night and I knew that it was time to take her to the vet. I had been afraid, because I didn't want them placing the blame on me or telling me that it was going to be thousands of dollars to treat her... because I knew I would pay anything if it came down to it. So I gathered her up in a towel and my mom drove us the the emergency vet. Thank goodness she was there to comfort me. In the car, Imogen layed in my arms looking up at me, and I told her how she was a good girl and that I loved her more than anything.

We got there, and I instantly broke down. I told the receptionist that I had been calling different vets in the area, and nobody could see her until next week. I told her that I didn't think she would make it through the night, and I needed someone to look at her. They didn't specialize in ferrets, but  were able to get some one to look at her. What I remember most about the staff, is there compassion. Nobody blamed me for it, and I think that maybe that fear came out of me somewhat blaming myself.

They took us into an empty room and I told Imogen that everthing was going to be ok. But, one look at her and it was clear that the doctor wasn't optomistic. She had bruises inside of her mouth, which apparently are a sign of kidney failure. I had prepared myself for some kind of an injury, not something as big as this. They took Imogen into another room for bloodwork, and I sat there in silence... I knew she wouldn't be coming home with me that night.

When they brought her back, I felt sick. Emotionally and physically. They tried to get a blood sample, but she was so dehyrdated that they couldn't get more than a drop. What's worse, there was a huge bruise on her neck where they had tried to hold her while drawing blood. I told the vet that at this point I knew she was suffering, and she agreed that the best thing for Imogen would be to put her down.

She passed in my hands, and the last thing she heard was me whispering how good she was and how much I loved her. I'm glad she wasn't alone when she died.

I left thinking about death and how much I believe that her energy was released from her body and out into the atmosphere. As she passed, I closed my eyes and tried to breathe it in. Tried to catch some of that energy on my eyelashes and fingers. And then when I left, released it outside into the sunshine that she loved so much. Her ashes will be scattered over a field in Goochland County, and every time I feel the wind on my cheeks or warmth on my shoulder, I will know that it's Imogen telling me she's happy.

I think that Imogen was at peace and was ready. I will never forget the memories that only her and I share, and I will never ever stop loving her.

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Friday, March 18, 2011

Sad News

'somebody has to say it' will be back next week. Imogen had to be euthanized today and I am absolutely heartbroken. I'll write more when I'm feeling a little better. She died in my arms, and she's no longer in pain. It's hard to imagine life without her in it. Ugh. Such a tough, tough day.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

imogen.

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I have had Imogen for about 6.5 years. I got her for Christmas sophomore year of college, and I used all of the money I got that year to buy her. In college, she slept at the foot of my bed and roamed the apartment as if it were her own. She loved being around all of the people who would come in and out, and especially loved stealing pens and chips from their abandoned backpacks.

Since college, Imogen has had to adjust to living in a cage. She really likes getting out every now and then and running around, chasing Pete & Samson throughout our loft. She really really likes sneaking out of our front door and roaming the halls............ which is why I quickly learned to keep a very close eye on this little bandit.

Yesterday, I noticed that Imogen was shaking and as I got closer to her cage I realized that she was really sick. My heart immediately dropped as I picked her up and realized that she was entirely skin and bones. She's always been a very small ferret, but the amount of weight that she has dropped in the past few days scared me to death. I looked in her litter box, and realized that I haven't had to clean it for almost a week. It may sound like I haven't been very observant, but you would be surprised how quickly her health has changed -- I kid you not, the day before she was running around the cage like her normal self.

Panicking, I got on the internet and immediately tried to look for a home remedy. I knew that I needed to at least see if she would respond to food, so I ran out and picked up chicken broth and chicken gravy baby food. I mixed the baby food with some warm water and hand fed her, and she dove her face in it... devouring half a bottle right then and there. I gave her a small bowl of warm chicken broth before bed, tucked her in, and told her that I love her so very much and I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet. Before nodding off, she hobbled over to her litter box, climbed in, and pooped. Happiest I have ever been about a living being using the bathroom! (this makes me wonder if she has a tooth ache... because she has been keeping all of her food down and is acting like she's starved to death...)

This morning, I ran to her cage and dug through her blankets and felt relieved that she was still alive. Ferrets can change drastically from even the smallest illness, and I knew it was very possible that she would not survive the night. This morning she ate a little more of the baby food, and I tucked her in before leaving for work. This evening, I will check on her again and most likely take her to our vet. If you haven't noticed, I've been avoiding it, because I know it's going to cost me a fortune and as old as she is... the reality is that she may not improve.

This is the first time in my life that I've been the one person responsible for deciding what to do with a sick pet. As a kid, I remember begging my dad to take our cat to the vet -- no matter what the cost, I remember guilting him into x-rays, blood work, you name it. I'm sorry that I put him in that situation now, because this is such a hard decision. There is no easy way about it, especially when people are judging you and telling you that you need to spend thousands of dollars and if you haven't saved, you shouldn't own a pet in the first place. That's not fair. Life happens, and these things seem to have the worst timing. There are so many things to think about before handing over hundreds or thousands of dollars. Especially when you don't have that money to spare.

But the more and more I think about it, Imogen is responding to what I've been doing so far. She's pulling though, and I would hate for something to happen and for me to look back at this moment wishing I had handled it differently. I have an appointment after work, and then I'm going to feed her some more and take her in for an exam. I'm afraid of what the doctor will say, but even more afraid of what will happen if I keep stalling. Hopefully the next few days will bring some kind of good news.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

the last week of winter.

I just realized something. This is the last official week of winter -- Sunday marks the first day of Spring! Is anyone else out there as excited as I am about this?

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[01.] Purchase a new pair of Toms, for obvious reasons.

[02.] Go blonder... like, TOMORROW!!! {whoop whoop!}

[03.] Fill out loan application and turn in all paperwork, due to Kara and Husband purchasing a house!

[03 B.] Learn everything I can about gardening, so that I'm ready for my new backyard this summer!

[04.] Get a pedicure, due to going barefoot 85% of the time from here on out.

[05.] Make a Spring Cleaning Mix, including my newest guilty pleasure: yes!!!


Are you ready for cook out weather, bare feet, flowers, and sunshine??

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Buried.

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Sean + I are pretty addicted to watching movies. We usually rent at LEAST two movies per week, and then watch On Demand movies the other five nights (I think Sean has watched Home Alone every Saturday night since November). Well, last night we picked up some malted milk ball gelato (whaoooo... so delish) and cuddled up to the movie Buried.

Ryan Reynolds plays a U.S. contract worker who drives a supply van in Iraq. His character, Paul, wakes up to find that he is tied up and buried in what seems to be a coffin -- the entire movie takes place under ground, and Paul is given a lighter, his anxiety medication, a flask, and a cell phone. He has until 9 o'clock to get 1 million dollars from the U.S. government or the terrorists will kill him (and possibly his family, as they stole his driver's license).

 I kid you not this is the most intense movie I have ever seen! We went in knowing that this movie would either be epic or too boring to finish... and we were definintly surprised by how much we not only bonded with Paul, but felt anxiety as he did everything in his power to survive. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that it was even more nerve wracking than 127 Hours.

If you haven't seen this movie yet... I suggest you run as fast as you can to your nearest Red Box, Blockbuster, Netflix, or wherever else it is that you get your movies and rent this! I promise you will not be dissapointed!

Friday, March 11, 2011

somebody has to say it - v.01

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So here's the deal, I've been having a nasty case of writers block. My blog is becoming jumbled and scatter-brained, and I need to bring back a little order. A little inspiration. A little fun, for crying out loud! Thus, welcome to my newest feature. Each Friday I will choose a topic that I feel particularly passionate about, and hopefully you will find it funny or interesting. Please let me know what you think!

The first thing I want to shed some light on in somebody has to say it, is the ridiculousness of the website The Dirty. Have you ever been to this website? If you haven't, let me fill you in: it's run by blogger Nik Richie, who spends countless hours posting and commenting on ''dirt'' that people send in on people. It's broken down into categories, such as city or college, and a picture is submitted along with a pretty intense bashing of the persons promiscuity and overall [lack of] self worth. There's a specific section entitled ''Would You?'' where guys submit pictures of girls that they know and ask Nik if he would or would not sleep with them... usually Nik focuses on their shortcomings and even the seemingly flawless girls are picked apart and ultimately denied for some superficial reason.

I will admit that I have looked on this site and had a laugh or two, but when you start realizing that these are actual people things become less funny. Especially when you read some of the comments. It also gets pretty annoying when you realize how cocky Nik is and his general disrespect for women. The fact that this site is 90% focused on bashing women is equally appauling and says so much about our culture and our values. It's sad really. And somebody really does have to say it... Nik, you are no Hugh Jackman buddy.

But for every chauvinist out there, fear not ladies... a few gems still exist. For example, this article definintly pulls at my feminist heart strings and gives mankind back their dignity. I posted this article on my facebook yesterday after my very awesome friend Denise decided to share the wealth. Some of the comments made me very proud of our male counterparts, especially this one:


{click to enlarge... the photo uploader is being especially irritating today}

My husband is so sexy when he talks comm theory. In case you can't read the blurry mess above, this was his reaction to the article:

''Sean Hooker: Kara, you know you wish you would have been a comm major in college. In one of my sex and gender classes we played the dirty word game. It consisted of yelling all the dirty words we could think of for women and then man. We wrote them on t...he chalkboard and examined the results. There were a lot more derogatory words for females then men. A LOT MORE. Interestingly, many were about sexuality. What does that say about our society and our language?
On the same line of thought, many words in the English language are gender biased in favor of men. Mankind, congressman, businessman, chairman and even the word “woman” is gender biased toward men. It’s as if the very word that defines a “female” (there we go again) is directly based from a man’s perspective. We’ve started to identify this recently and have begun to use gender neutral words, but most of these are still prominent words. I guess that’s where I was going with the media reflects a patriarchal society. I didn’t intend to let the media off the hook by any means.''

So you see ladies... actual men do exist, you just have to know where to look! Have a happy weekend, and be sure to give the good men out there a little pat on the back for being the absolute opposite of pig headed aliens out there like Nik Ritchie :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

food for thought...


The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.
[Ivy Baker Priest]

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

What I've been up to...

Honestly, I've been working a lot lately and haven't had a free minute to blog! But here are a few things that I've been up to...

[01.] I just got back from the beach with this girl and now I am more excited for summer than ever! Looking forward to camping trips, lounging at the river, and tanned skin.

[02.] I'm getting super excited about Shamrock the Block this weekend! Who doesn't love green beer and beads?
[03.] I found a really cool Lorax Save the Tree's game online this morning and it brought me right back into my childhood!

[04.]  I've become super obsessed with the iphone game 'Words With Friends' -- has anyone else? Let's play! My user name is 'KaraHooker'

[05.] Does anyone else have a slight obsession with Big Love? Sunday nights episode blew my mind... so sad there's only 2 more episodes left!

I hope you are enjoying your week, too!

Thursday, March 03, 2011

bbbb-eeee-aaaa-cccc-hhhh!


I've been in the biggest funk lately.

But...

this time tomorrow I will be in Corolla, N.C. with one of my best friends, Britt.
-and several of my other most favorite people-

{and that sort of makes everything alright again!}


Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Living In The Moment


There is something that you must understand about people - they will let you down. And the more you love a person, chances are that they will really hurt you when they do. This is just the way life goes, and the sooner you understand this... the easier the ride will be. Plain + Simple.

Before you start getting all ''Stop being so pessimistic, Kara'' just hear me out. Nobody is perfect. I am not perfect and you are not perfect and the guy you work with isn't perfect either. Neither is your kindergarten teacher who you loved so much and look back on with nostalgia from time to time. We make mistakes, and if we're lucky we grow from them. And realizing that sometimes people you love let you down can only help you learn from each and every painful experience you encounter. It's only been 24 years on Earth for me personally, but I've had my heart broken and stomped on too many times to count. Sometimes, admittedly, I've done the stomping.

Sometimes, life throws a curve ball and it knocks you unconscious for a few minutes before you get a chance to shake it off and try all over again. The important thing is that before you shake it off, you really feel that pain and accept it before trying again. You should always strive to feel every moment of life, and know that accepting these not-so-fun emotions is not the same actual thing as being okay with it. You have to be able to admit that you aren't in control, and that sometimes you get on a roller coaster and you can't just throw your hands up and yell "STOP!!!"... you have to actually ride it out and then decide if it was worth an extra go-round or not. Sometimes it is, other times it isn't.

But when you are in this moment of disbelief and overall hurt, breathe it in and then breathe it out. When you do this, you are more capable of learning from it. You have time to think about why this person let you down, what they were thinking, what was going on in their life, if their past is influencing them at this moment, if yours is. You can say: This hurts. But I know that they love me and I see where they were coming from, and I trust that they weren't intentionally inflicting this pain on me because our past history reminds me that they care about me just as much as I care about them.

You can also say: I keep getting hurt by this person, and I want off the roller-coaster.

In both instances, you have looked at the situation from all sides and felt the emotion and made a decision. This is living in the moment. Every moment. Not only happy moments, and not only sad moments, but every moment without skipping over some. Because there is something that you can learn from each and every moment of life, and learning only makes you grow as a person and aware of things that you hadn't considered before.

And while you're living in this moment, that sometimes isn't so fun, it's important to remember that there are other things in your life that are not letting you down. There are other friends, husbands/boyfriends, opportunities, chances worth taking, adventures to begin. So rather than dwelling on something sad, feel the moment and learn from it and then move on. You can choose to take the thing that hurt you along with you for another ride (sometimes the ride isn't so bad once you've experienced it, and it becomes your most favorite thing), or other times you can get off of the scary roller coaster (that continues to be scary, no matter how many times you try again) and find something a little more pleasant, like the merry-go-round instead.

The Universe has a lot to offer in each and every moment, and it is our job on Earth to learn from her lessons and better ourselves and those around us. Living in the moment is easy, when you recognize the opportunity that is being offered and the chances that are worth taking.

 
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