this is my sad face.

So the moral of the story today is this: be careful what you wish for! Yesterday I was frustrated because I didn't have any inspiration to write...... and then last night {at happy hour with some of my favorite people in Richmond} I found out that my very best friend in the whole entire world is moving. That really sucks. I'm really trying not to make this about me, but every time I think about her leaving I get this heavy feeling in my chest and my eyes start to tear up. I mean, this girl had me CRYING AT THE BAR!!!! Thank goodness there was an ample amount of beer present!!!!!!

I have been friends with Brittany since we were babies. Like, we were hangin' out long before we knew what a potty was & when it was totally acceptable to pee your pants.... so I guess you could say there isn't a time in my life when she wasn't there. Well, last week she told me that she had an interview in Arlington, and to put it lightly I was pissed. I felt like she was breaking up with me! So I told her it was a dumb idea and basically acted as immature and bitchy as possible so that she'd forget about her stupid interview and stay in Richmond, with me --- where she belongs. Well, what a rude awakening it was when last night I was happily sipping my beer when out of nowhere she tells me she got the job. {this is where the tears come in, damn you Brittany!!!}

I should be happy for my friend. She has been looking for a job and with the current economy it hasn't been easy for her. I should probably also smile at the fact that she is getting a fresh start, and remember that if I was in her situation I would probably do the same exact thing. Heck, I LOVE Arlington. I even tried to convince Sean to move there. But that's not what I want to think about, because despite everything that seems to be perfectly falling in place for her -- WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!???!!! Sorry, but I'm being honest here! My best friend is moving 2 hours away, and all I can think about is how she only has 4 happy hours left and won't be around for our weekly girl nights for much longer. I just can't help it, I'm really really mad.

So today I sit here in my office, and I'm still trying not to cry like a freakin' baby. Deep down, I am happy for her. Seriously. But there's still a small part of me that is scared she'll move away and find another best friend. Or maybe not a best friend, but a really skinny/cool/funny/awesome new friend that she'll probably want me to hang out with. And if she does that, I will more than likely spit in this skinny/cool/funny/awesome new friend's beer when she isn't looking. Just Kidding. sort of.

In order to torture myself more......... I've been looking through her facebook pictures all morning. I also may or may not have said a little prayer that she can't find an apartment or her new boss decides he actually hates her guts orrrr her car gets broken into by some really mean Arlington person {hey, at least she got me praying!}............ whatever, I'm bitter. I will own that label!

Brittany: You know I'm only acting like a complete bitch because I'm really sad and scared and basically falling apart knowing you won't be right around the corner if I need you.

moonchild.

I've been wanting to write all day, but I am having trouble finding the words.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that I belong anywhere else at this moment other than this freezing cold office. I need to be....

{photo credit}

my favorite place in the whole world!!!

Most of you who read my blog know that I love going to the river. I spend almost every weekend there, laying in the sun and listening to nature. I feel so at peace and centered there, like I am not a separate being from the river or the trees, but rather an extension of them. Usually my dog Pete joins me, and he has grown to really love the water. Last weekend was really special though, because Sean & Samson tagged along - neither of them are too fond of the heat or of the river. But I am proud to say that after that day, Samson has officially become a river dog {we are still working on Sean}! It was such a great day, and so I wanted to share a few pictures of my very most favorite place on the planet: The James River.

Some artwork I found :)

Pete relaxing after a swim :)

Samson - chillin' at the river!!!

Sean & our friend Cruey

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Introducing... Sunday Funday!

So more and more I've been seeing these awesome little "get to know you" questionnair-type blog posts and I figured it was copy-cat time {hey, it's the sincerest form of flattery}!

I give to you....

I will be choosing a different follower each week - you could be next! - Consider this a *thank you* for being so awesomely cool... I can't wait to get to know everyone so much better!

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Say HELLO to Kellie!

Kellie is the genius behind the lovely Pen Pal Project I'm always talking about. I love her blog so much, because she's always got something interesting to say and she's so good about bringing people together and making new friends! Kellie - you are so totally awesome {not to metion gorgeous - holy cow}!!!

Tell us all a little something, something about yourself --

What's your sign? {duhhh, I'm obsessed w/ astrology}

Taurus (the stubborn bull!)

What's your favorite thing in the world to do?

Hang out with my loved ones (friends and family) we have the best conversations and always keep each other entertained!

Best Childhood memory & why?

This is a tough one. i honestly had a really great childhood and a lot of fun memories. but id probably have to pick the friday nights when my friends and i would pack into my moms minivan so she could take us to youth group. we always sang along (loudly and badly) to songs on the way and looking back it was just an awesome bonding time with my awesome friends and mom.

Name 5 interesting facts about yourself.

1. I do weird stuff in my sleep (like talk, hit (every once in a while), laugh, cry, etc) its weird.

2. I've never broken a bone or gotten stung by any insects.

3. I've lived in FL my entire life.

4. I was in drama class in high school and was cast as the lead female in our school play my junior year.

5. I first became an aunt in the 4th grade.

 If you could travel any place in the entire world, where would it be & why?

Everywhere i havent been yet (which is a lot of places) I really want to see the world before I die and there isn't just one place I want to visit. I want to go everywhere! :)

Tell us a secret {shh! We won't tell anyone...}

When I'm bored I check out awesome wedding sites like oncewed.com (I'm such a girl! lol)

There you have it! Now, go check out her blog & give her some love!

xoxo

Happy Friday!

I love you, Sean!

Yes, I am *officially* one of those girls who dedicates a whole blog to her significant other. Eh, oh well! Hope everyone has the best weekend ever -- it's supposed to rain here, but I'm going to make the most of it!

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i heart charles darwin.

Once upon a time there was a man named Charles Darwin. And he developed a theory about evolution and wrote about it in a journal called On the Origin Of Species. And then one day, years and years later, some one made a movie about him and called it Creation.

I should've know yesterday that my time of the month was coming, because I sat in my living room - in total darkness - crying my eyes out as I watched Darwin struggle with his spirituality while debating whether to publish his very famous theory. I really connected to this movie. And I think I connected to it so deeply because sometimes I feel a little bit like Charles Darwin. Am I even allowed to say that?

Anyway. A lot of people struggle with their spirituality. A lot of people struggle in general. As I mentioned in my previous post, my mother is a pastor. So I guess you could say I fit into that "Pastor's Daughter" stereotype pretty well considering I'm Buddhist and don't really know if I believe that God actually exists or not. The thing is, I wrote an entirely different post before this one talking about passion. Basically a cop out. And I deleted it because damn it this is my blog, and I can talk about what I think without having to worry about offending anyone. {that's the joy of it being mine!}

So as I sat there, watching poor Charles fight with himself over and over again about how he would probably go to hell if he published this theory, a theory that basically proved that God was not needed in order for a species to re-create itself for survival {although many will say that God & evolution can work hand in hand... and I think that's fine} I felt a lump in my chest and started crying in between handfuls of popcorn and gulps of wine. Ok... so I didn't have any wine, but that would make the whole situation a lot less embarrassing because then I could "blame it on the alcohol" so to speak. Whether you believe in God or not... I really don't care. What I do care about is this: We have been programmed by society to be so afraid of what's going to happen in the afterlife that we often fear living this life to the fullest.

Let me explain. When my Southern Baptist grandmother asks me if I've been going to church in the city, do I tell her that I go to a temple to meditate? Um, no. Hell no. I lie and tell her that I've been going to church, and keep it at that. Or tell her I go to the river. Which is actually more frequent than the temple these days. When people at work tell me to have a "Blessed Day" or "God Bless" do I smile and say "Please don't offend me by assuming I believe in God"? Again, no. Why, you ask? Because I am afraid to be judged. Just as Christians are sometimes afraid to be judged by Non-Christians... Buddhists get a little intimidated too, especially since we're kind of out numbered here in Richmond, Va. And cut that number in half, because some Buddhists still do believe in God.

And if a part of me doesn't honestly think a big man in the sky really does exist, why am I so afraid that he'll smack me with a bolt of lightening if I vocalize my beliefs out loud? Why am I still afraid of hell if I don't even believe hell exists. Hmm. Do you know, whenever I say "There's no such thing as God" I feel my heart race a little bit? I imagine that's what the girls in high school must have felt like, smoking in the bathrooms.

Some people may be thinking that if I feel this way, maybe I still believe that God exists and I'm just rebelling. Well, I'm still on the fence, but I think it's completely normal to feel insecure when you're going against everything you've ever been taught. Especially when a lot of people judge your morality by your faith. Let me tell you, atheists generally don't make it to the top of those moral lists.

I think Darwin was incredibly brave, because he finally published his theory and basically changed the world and how we think. It's not easy going against the crowd and speaking up. Especially with religion... that tends to be a sensitive subject for a lot of people. When he died, he was burried next to Issac freakin Newton. And the State paid for it! People still thought he was awesome and respected the heck out of him. They still do. I think he's become sort of a hero to me.

Whoaaaaa :)

4 rules go along with this award.

Rule #1: Thank the person who gave you this award.

Thank you, Emmy!

Rule #2: Share 7 things about yourself.

1. I have been a vegetarian for 5 1/2 years. {although I've been eating fish for 3 months. shh!}

2. I am Buddhist. My mother is a Methodist Pastor. Family dinners can be quite interesting, although she is very accepting.

3. I have a raging girl crush on Zooey Deschanel.

4. Sometimes commercials make me cry. Damn you, SPCA!

5. I am a sucker for Reality TV. {Specifically Real World, The Hills/City, Housewives of New Jersey}

6. I have 8 tattoos - a henna inspired flower on my foot, a swallow & star on my hip, the Giving Tree along my side, lyrics to Imagine on my shoulder blade, A quarter sleeve {the solar system}, stars on my lower back, the HRC campaign logo on my left wrist, the symbol for alpha & omega {beginning & end} on my right wrist... and I'm not done yet!

7. My favorite bands are as follows: Ray LaMontagne, Counting Crowes, Copeland, Coldplay, Damien Rice, Death Cab For Cutie {and the Beatles... but that kind of goes without saying, no?}

Rule #3: Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you've recently discovered and who you think are fantastic.

These are blogs that I look at on a daily basis, not necessarily recent discoveries {but little blogging treasures nonetheless} -- I literally cannot go a single day without checking them out! Love you little beauties!

1. Denise's Pieces
2. The Flowerchild Dwelling

3. Gypsy Girls Journal

4. Nienie

5. Talk2TheTrees

6. Sean & Chloe

7. The Weekend Island

8. Animals Are My Friends

9. Anticipation

10. Boho Photography

11. The Wild and Wily Ways of a Brunette Bombshell

12. Smile and Wave

13. Walk Slowly, Live Wildly

14. 2 Nomads, 1 Narrative

15. Misplaced Mama

Rule #4: Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

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