what are you so afraid of?

{photo credit}

note to self: stop being so afraid!!!!

Do you ever feel like you're missing out on things because you're afraid? I was talking to a friend about this over lunch the other day... and my first response was Heck, no! I don't let fear hold me back from anything! Hmm... maybe that's not entirely true. I think we all have little {or not so little} fears that keep us from living up to our potential. Maybe life would be different if every once in a while we told our fears to shut the hell up! Maybe if we closed our eyes and took a running start, we would make a memory that would last forever. It's possible that some of my fears could totally change my life and my overall outlook if I would just quiet that voice in my head telling me I can't and turn up that little voice that wants to scream out -- I can!!!!

1. Bungee Jump.

2. Go back to school.

3. Travel to a very poor country and volunteer my time.

4. Go skydiving.

5. Go backpacking in Europe. Make no plans ahead of time.

6. Go on a camping trip for a whole week... by myself.

7. Eat alone at a restaurant.

8. Give a speech.

9. Hold a snake.

10. Call in sick from work & go on an adventure.

{Yes, I am afraid to call in sick when I'm really not. Pathetic.}

So, what's holding you back? What are you afraid of?

i heart teresa!

So my very good friend Dan has one heck of a talented mama! Check out this painting she did of my husband, Sean:

I am more than a little impressed! I wish I could paint like that..... or at all. Oh and guess what, her and her husband are starting a winery.... yeah... they're cool!

P.S. - Teresa...... our anniversary is coming up in August -- hint hint ;)

my weekend in pictures..

Meet Henry, my best friend's adorable pug & partner in crime ;)

Friday I got a jump start on my weekend by leaving work early. I was feeling really dizzy and nauseous and had convinced myself that I was experiencing vertigo. Yup, it was that bad. Not cool. So I rushed to Patient First right after lunch and sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. Needless to say, the "doctor" told me that nothing was wrong and that, although he believed me, he was not going to prescribe me any "drugs." Direct quote. Why is it that every time I visit this place I get accused of being a drug addict!? Nice. Anyway, I am feeling much better today... even if I am more than a little tired. Guess it really wasn't vertigo.

So after my adventure at Patient First I got paint supplies together and decided that it was time to kiss {most} of our white walls goodbye. We haven't had a rainy Saturday in quite sometime, so it was a good day to stay indoors. I tend to feel less at home and somewhat uneasy around white walls. Not to mention bored. out. of. my. mind. Anyway. My gracious friend Brittany {whose adorable pug is pictured above} volunteered to help me out, and 5 hours later we were *officially* done... it was not easy, we were totally and extremely exhausted, and we didn't consume anything the entire day other than coffee and a glass of iced water. We worked our butts off! Check it out:

Our downstairs is slowly being transformed into a guest bedroom. i would've provided more pictures... but it's too dark down there at the moment. Pics to come once the bed comes in and it's finished :)

Obsessed with this new beachy color! I'm thinking about getting a yellow mat and matching bath towels... thoughts?

Of course Samson tried helping... I don't know if you can tell but he dipped his entire face in the paint. There was blue everywhere. Sean was freaking out! How can I stay mad at a face like that?

I actually had a blast spending girl time with Brittany... and I hope she had fun, too! The best part was our dinner date and then grabbing ice cream afterwards. After that we watched the movie An Education... if you haven't seen this I reccomend that you do -
so e p i c.

Not from this weekend, but nevertheless a lovely picture of my gorgeous friend! Brittany ~ I am forever in debt to you! Thanks for all of your help this weekend! xo

Sunday was really awesome in the fact that it was so so sunny and bright outside. Pete & I got up early and went to the river with some friends. This pup loves the river... which is awesome because Sean & Samson... not so much. He looks so funny swimming through the rapids, wish I got a pic! Gosh, I love him!

{photo credit} I didn't take this one, but this is the exact spot we spent our day! Pete even took a ride with one of the kayakers - so nice of him, by the way!

Sunday night we went to a Counting Crows/Augustana concert ::girl cruuuush!:: I am so obsessed with Adam Duritz that it's really not even funny. It's actually really pathetic how I stood there like a 12 year old screaming at the top of my lungs, but who cares. The beginning of the show was a disappointment {they had a little too much fun before everything started, if you know what I mean} but they totally made up for it towards the end. They did a really freakin good cover of Just Like a Woman {oh, Bob Dylan how I love you!}... ohmygosh amazing you have to witness this here.

No wonder I can barley hold my head up this morning! All in all, an epic weekend :)

yesterday, i turned into a scary monster.

So yesterday was a pretty terrible/horrible/no good/very bad day. And honestly, it wasn't really that bad... but it's been a while since I wanted to crawl into my bed and get the day over with. And I left work early to do exactly that: eat pizza, watch reality tv in my pajamas, and snuggle up with my puppies in bed at 8:00 p.m. Whatever. I needed that.

It all started yesterday morning. I woke up with this killer headache, the kind where it feels like you've been up all night week drinking liquor... only I hadn't been drinking and I actually went to bed really early the night before - like, 9 a.m. early. So I struggled to put on the first outfit I could find, and I didn't even care that I rolled into work a few minutes late wearing a completely ridiculous shirt and cardigan that in no way matched and pants that no longer fit {probably due to too much pizza}. Blah, who cares!

Then, I receive a phone call from the therapist in our building. Keep in mind, she has called me about this same client about 50 million times and each and every time she has been given the exact same answer: his case is closed and he is no longer my client. {aka please stop calling me about this damn client because I haven't heard from him in 4 months!!!!!} Ok... so she called and I must have totally caught her off guard with my rudeness because she quickly hung up and I haven't heard back from her since, and I hope she doesn't ever mention his name again because I honestly can't stand repeating myself for the 50-million-and-one time! I am rarely rude, and I do feel a tiny bit bad about how I responded... but my freaking head was throbbing and I just couldn't keep it together.

After that awesome phone call, I drove to a client's house to give him a drug screen - keep in mind he has been court ordered to have weekly drug screens and I have yet to even submit ONE because he is never home. Oh, and did I mention he's on "house arrest"? Yeah. Awesome. Not my problem that he's probably going to spend some time behind bars because he refuses to do what he's supposed to do. Anyway, getting to his house with what I can only believe to be the biggest migraine in history was the worst experience of my life week. I knocked on the door and nobody answered. I waited. And waited. And waited. Then, I called his in home worker and asked - in so many words - wtf was up! Ok... so I politely asked where he was. His in home worker told me that he called and told me that this kid was doing community service and that we would have to reschedule. Wow... no, you did not call me and if you did I most certainly did not get your message! He asked if we could re-schedule for FRIDAY NIGHT and I kind of laughed, before saying hell no and deciding to meet Monday morning, instead. :: deep breath :: Did I mention he just sent me a TEXT asking that we meet Monday afternoon? Sheesh, is it so difficult to pick up your phone and call me?

So I finally got back to my office and kind of sat there. Then I decided to check my bank account, because I didn't bring lunch thinking I would just pick up Subway. Funny thing.. my account was in the negatives. Awesome. I don't even really know how that happened, I swear! So... I gathered together some change and had a bag of chips for lunch... oh, and some really delicious water from the fountain. mmm. mmm. mmm!

At about 3:00 p.m. my head was officially trying to explode. The more I looked at the computer screen, the more I felt like I was going to barf. The best part is that my husband had my car on this particular afternoon, so I knew I was going to have to walk 2 miles home. This may not seem like a huge deal, but oh-my-god it really is when it's over 100 degrees outside! So, I called my boss and told her that I was basically dying and that since I had to walk home, I needed a 2 hour head start. This part is so awesome: the second I get a block from work, it starts thundering and raining! GREAT. So, I walked home in the rain. And the thunder.

I seriously felt like I was being punked.

But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I finally got into my building and picked up my mail. Inside was a stack of pretty letters all addressed to me from my awesome pen pals! So, if any of you are reading this, you totally made my terrible day semi-ok. I promise, I am going to start writing next week!

{Oh, then after I finished my cheese pizza I was rudely reminded by my stomach that I am lactose-intolerant. That was fun.}

In case you are wondering about why I have pen pals...

I have joined this totally awesome group of about 40 girls who will write eachother for two months. I can't wait... especially since my last pen-pal was probably when I was seven.

Anyway, it's Friday. And nothing can really be that terrible about a Friday... because tomorrow I am going to sleep in and finally paint my loft! So... pics to come Monday morning :)

Cheers to Friday's and sleeping in tomorrow!!!! xo

Strangers.

smile. a lot.

say hello to a stranger.

give a dollar to some one in need.

hold the door, even if you're in a hurry.

let some one go ahead of you in line.

stand up for some one, even if you're the only one.

get to know your neighbors.

give out hugs on a daily basis.

tell somebody you love them.

compliment.

be the change you want to see in the world.

It's no secret. Most of us don't even know who our next door neighbors are. Some people simple wander around, working all day and then returning to an empty home. Make a new friend today. xo

p.s. i just got my new pixie hat in the mail yesterday... made by Rachael Thomas... this girl is truly amazing and absolutely gorgeous {and this hat is seriously so so comfy}!

c.a.r.e.f.r.e.e.

I hope that everyone had the best possible 4th of July this year! After 30 long hours of brushing... my dreads are *officially* out! I have never been so happy to run my fingers through my hair...

f.r.e.s.h. f.r.e.e. h.a.i.r!!!

i'm a brunette!

I spent my 3-day weekend getting lots of sunshine, laughing with friends, and just being carefree in general. I've also developed a new obsession/fantasy with massage therapy or cosmetology. Blah, I need a new job!

On a lighter note, Sean & I had fast food yesterday... which is quite a treat considering we rarely indulge! Our stomachs weren't too happy, though....

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness. {Mark Twain}

Happy Birthday, America!

For Those Who Wander...

{photo}

Dear Corporate America,

Do you ever think about ditching work and sleeping in until noon - do you even remember what it feels like for the wind to tangle your hair or the sun to tan your skin? This morning I woke up and I thought about you. Yes, you. I've decided that I do not hate you, for hate is such a strong word for something that I pitty. I want you to love life like I love it.

I thought about taking you by the hand and leading you into the forest. We could sit there for a while and have an entire conversation without speaking a single word. And I bet it will be the deepest moment you will ever experience. Did you know that trees can read your soul and have the power to heal your deepest wounds?

I thought about bringing you to a ledge and leaping off into the ocean. I guarantee that you will feel your heart flutter and in those moments, you will know you are alive. You will feel your blood pumping and lose your breath and before you know it, the sea will catch you in her open arms and rock you back and forth. She will comfort you. She will always catch you when you are falling.

I thought about taking your shoes for an entire day. We would wander the streets in our bare feet and you would feel every blade of grass or tiny pebble that finds your heal. At first you may despise me for this, but give it a few minutes. Trust me when I tell you, you will never feel as close to nature as you will when you touch her with every single step. And she will love you for that.

I wanted to tell you that there is so much more to life than money. While you are sitting in your office from 9 o'clock until 5, I am daydreaming and running through wildflowers as fast as I can. I am sticking my head out of the window while driving well over the speed limit, and as the wind pulls my hair back behind my ears - I am free.

When you follow your heart, does it really lead you to an office building? Or do you take a deep breath and admit that there's something you may be missing. If you are happy, please do not let my ramblings make you feel inferior. But do not punish me for them either.

Because not all who wander are lost.

Just thought you may want to know, something better is actually out there.

With Love & A Dreaming Heart,

            the wanderer.