{some of the beautiful gifts i've recieved this week...}
"A cheerful friend is like a sunny day spreading brightness all around."
{ John Lubcock}
I have so much that I have wanted to say to all of you... and I'm still not sure how my emotions will be able to fit in this tiny space. This time last week I was in an incredible ammount of pain, crossing my fingers that I would be home soon - lucky for me Saturday afternoon I was discharged from the hospital. Mitchell was discharged last Saturday as well, but since then he has traveled back and forth and is currently struggling to keep his blood pressure under control. His kidney is doing well, but if they do not get his medications corrected it could lead to further damage. Please continue to send supportive and loving vibes -- he still needs us rooting for him.
This week has been such a blessing otherwise. My mother came to visit and it was nice having her all to myself. We shopped, went out to eat, watched movies... all in all I had an amazng time with her. Also, she was there when I needed dread maintainence and and even volunteered to clean my floors. Mom's are so great in that way. Those tiny yet ultimate examples of love that they sprinkle over their children, who still desperately need them no matter what their age.
It has been nice sleeping in my own bed. I think I dream better there, rather than a hospital bed where nurses come checking vital signs and drawing blood every hour. I have also realized just how special a goodnight kiss is from my husband as I drift off to sleep. He is so good to me. I think this experience has opened my eyes to how much I am loved, and how much I love and appreciate those around me.
I do believe that I have been changed. I worry about Mitchell as if he was my blood-born brother and feel connected to him in a way that I've never felt before. I appreciate little things, such as the ability to walk down the street - taking a special interest in birds singing. Especially robins. Being outside is an entirely new blessing, and when the breeze touches my cheek I feel as though Mother Earth is leaving behind a gentle kiss. I didn't realize it before, but this surgery put my life on the line and made me realize what is truly important. As I was being wheeled into the OR, the only things passing through my mind were my husband, my family, friends & my dogs. For the first time I wasn't concerned with how I looked or what I was wearing. For the first time I was leaping head first, eyes closed, trusting the steady hand of my surgeon and the transplant team.
Last night I had a dream that I was climbing a book shelf. I kept climbing higher and higher and noticed that someone was chasing me. As I began to climb even faster books began to fall from their shelves and I found it harder and harder to keep hold of the shelf. Then my hand rested on a tiny, pocket sized paper back. I made it to the top of the shelf and was greeted by a professor who asked me what the most important lesson I had learned while on Earth. I handed over the paperback - a small book of quotes centering around the importance of peace. The professor mocked me and shook his head; this was not his idea of a passing answer. But I held firmly to that book and when I woke up, realized that the world can be changed one peaceful act at a time.
I gave a peice of myself to Mitchell, and as a result others passed along peices of themselves to me. My life is not over and I still have so much to learn, but I still think that my greatest victory once this life is over will be my fight for peace.
I hope you will join me and together we can change the world.
