tree hugger. never wears shoes. constant dreamer. nature lover. cemetaries. fairy tales. river obsessed. good wine. good friends. good books. huge imagination. peace.
At the risk of sounding like a total scrouge, I will confess that Christmas isn't exactly my thing. I don't even have a Christmas tree this year, however I did manage to send out Christmas cards and my friends have done a pretty good job of trying to get me into the spirit.
This weekend was full of holiday parties: my best friends work party at a local brewery, a tacky Christmas sweater party, a gift exchange/brunch with some of my favorite girlfriends, and a 'fabulous' party at my friend Micheal's gallery. My body is seriously paying for the endless consumption of wine I indulged in over the weekend, and water has never tasted so gooooood.
[01] eating dinner on my counter top, because i sold my kitchen table and bar stools without really thinking that whole thing through. [02] i spent the whole day in bed Saturday with this handsome guy. [03] my tacky sweater... i like it because Santa's black. [04] all of the pretty gifts at our Christmas brunch. [05] a glass blowing demonstration at Micheal's party last night -- I got the be the volunteer and even got to help blow the glass! [06] at Michael's with some of my favorite neighbors!
Are you in the holiday spirit yet? I can't believe Christmas is Sunday -- are you kidding me?
Living alone certainly has it's perks - first and foremost, getting to decorate however you want. I have a very bohemian style, and it's been fun finding interesting pieces and seeing how they all fit together in my 'new' space.
I am so lucky, because every Saturday the alley behind my complex transforms into a place where artists, thrifters, and antique buyers come together. Another bonus, I have two amazing friends who own galleries next door, so I am always searching over their art and finding great pieces. I love living in the art district :)
Two lovlies who found a home with me this weekend - the Ottoman is from Micheal Sparks Design and the small table is from my good friend Bart's Studio.
So far my bedroom, bathroom and living room are complete (pictures to come)! Next on my wishlist, is a giant tee-pee for my room downstairs... a dreamy getaway filled with pillows, candles, star lights, and good books. Here are some on my wishlist:
it's the little things... like listening to a good playlist while cuddling with my puppy :)
As we grow and continue to evolve, we go through an array of emotions. Some days we are incredibly happy, others sad, others maybe even ambivalent. As an extremely emotional person (I blame it on being a true Cancer), it has taken me a long time to understand that it is okay to feel emotions - all of them; no emotion is bad.
It has taken me such a long time to come to terms with this. And I think that I am finally beginning to understand that emotions are natural and it's so important to feel them... not push them inward and attempt to ignore them. The first step, for me, has been taking the time to love myself -- all of me. Especially the messy imperfections.
The greatest lesson in life is cherishing things that make you happy, and learning to embrace and then let go the things that make you sad. Easier said than done, but it's a process and intentional path that you must choose individually. It's so worth it in the end.
You are the only person in the Universe exactly like you. Special, and worthy of love -- especially love for yourself. Life is such an incredible adventure, and every day is a new chance to learn and create and become whatever it is that truly makes you happy.
Sending you love from my little space on the internet - xx
After this week, I will have been separated for an entire month. That feels weird to say. I think the oddest thing about the divorce process, and also the most liberating, is no longer having to answer to anyone else except for your own inner voice. That's not to say that I haven't gotten incredibly lonely - this is the first time that I've lived by myself and sometimes it's strange going to sleep without telling some one else goodnight. I can feel myself growing and changing by the second, and I feel as if my life looks different each time I blink.
It's been a process, but my boss has been amazing and let me take two weeks off to figure things out and start my new life. The first thing I did was clean my loft (my loft!) and make some girly purchases, such as a new purple bathroom. It felt good, theraputic even, to clean and clean and clean for three whole days. I was able to cry, to laugh, mostly... to trust myself. I'll be ok, this isn't the end of my life but the start of a new beginning.
I've been cutting corners so that I can afford to stay in my loft without moving -- it's expensive, but this way when my lease runs up in August I can move anywhere I want. I think I will probably leave Virginia for the first time in my entire life, and it feels like an adventure. I cut off cable and internet... and I feel more in touch with myself and reality than I expected. My days these past few weeks have involved waking up early, eating breakfast with my puppy, spending hours at the river, reading (I'm on book #4!), talking on the phone with old friends, cooking, wine drinking, and best of all: nightly three hour bubble baths.
It feels like I'm getting to know myself for the first time -- like I'm dating myself, treating myself good for once. Life is going to be okay for me. Maybe even more than okay... the sky's the limit!
This song has been on repeat all weekend. I think there is so much power and healing that comes with finding music that you connect with. I am in the beginning stages of divorce -- my husband moved out this weekend, who I've been married for 3 years with and together for 10. We tried everything, but sometimes people just grow apart and no matter how hard you try to fix it.... it's not fixable.
I am heartbroken, but I know that this is the correct path and that I made the right decision. I also know that I learned so much from my relationship with my husband, and that I have grown in ways that I might not have otherwise. For that, I am thankful. I'm also thankful for my amazing support system, without my friends and family I don't know where I would be with all of these emotions.
As I've said so many times before, the Universe takes care of us. We are the Universe, all connected and able to provide comfort to some one without even being aware. It's amazing. This weekend I was able to meet THE Carley Simon's brother, Peter, as he had an exhibit set up in a friend's gallery. We got breakfast together and talked a little about Richmond and all that he's seen and done throughout his life, and then I spent about an hour looking deep into each and every one of his photographs.
There were pictures of Martin Luther King, Bob Dylan, The Beatles.... and also pictures of people in ghettos, family portraits from his time spent on a commune, and pictures of him and Carley (and their other siblings) growing up as kids. I took it all in, and before I knew it I was overcome with emotion and tears began running down my face. I stood there, letting myself feel this emotion, and at that moment I knew that everything was going to be ok for me.
As I was about to leave, I pulled Peter aside and shared my emotional reaction to his absolutely breathtaking work. I told him that his photographs gave me hope, strength, and empowerment. They made me realize that there is so much out there that I haven't seen or experienced. So much beauty that I've missed out on. And also, so much community that I desperately needed. He gave me such a heartfelt embrace, and we talked about this emotion for another hour before I finally pulled myself away for some much needed river therapy.
I sat on a blanket by the river, with an emotional mix of music and just spent time loving myself. I did not beat myself up, but rather embraced my life and let go of the negativity that I had been feeling towards my marriage. The fear of judgement, being alone, financial stressors. There's a long road ahead, but this was an important part of my healing process. There will be good days, hard days, and days when I feel absolutley nothing. But the important thing is that I have the choice to love myself through all of this, and come out on the other end with a few scars, but so much stronger.
Things have been more than a little shaky and stressful around here. Yes, more than usual. Do you know what's been giving me hope? Repeating this over and over and over and over again...
