i love you.

Sometimes I watch you at night while you are sleeping. I think about all that you have been through and all that you are still going through. I think about the way your smile curls when you're making a joke or thinking of something clever. The way your hand seems to find mine while we are sleeping. The way you've invited me into your world, and how we are learning so much about life together.

I wasn't looking for you, and to be honest I wouldn't have picked you out specifically. I've always been one to keep others at a distance and you make that especially hard. Sometimes that's uncomfortable, but other times it's refreshing. You have changed my whole mentality in a way that is equally frightening as it is the most exciting thing I've ever experienced. For once, I am a part of a team - I no longer want to do it all on my own because sharing everything with you is so much more fulfilling. There isn't anything we can't accomplish together.

The thing that I love most about you is how you challenge me. You make me a better person because you expect a lot out of me, you really do. You push me to share my deepest secrets and to talk about feelings that I've kept bottled inside of me for almost forever. When I'm with you, I think about things differently and from all angles. We are so opposite, but it works. You balance me and make me complete. You fill the hole that has been left from all that my past has taken from me. You fill it up to the tippy-top and sometimes I'm so fulfilled that I can hardly breathe.

I have never felt as beautiful as I do now. You see things in me that I've attempted to hide from the world, and you pull them out of me and water them and feed them until they grow into something so wild and so free that they can no longer keep quiet. Sometimes when I'm sleeping, I can hear you whispering how much you love me. Those are my favorite moments, because in those moments there is so much love between us that it's electric. It's in those moments that I feel apart of something bigger; that I don't feel so alone.

It's not all easy, either. When we fight, I can literally feel my heart ripping open. But with each and every tear, my soul is making room for growth. It's in these moments that I continue to learn and to become the person who I am always striving to be. I am so proud of these moments, because we fight fair and we argue out of an undeniable connection to one another. These are the moments where my love for you is over-powering to the point where I realize how much there is to lose, and I remind myself to appreciate each and every second that we have together.

So for all of this, no matter what happens, I thank you. Thank you for giving me hope in the Universe. For teaching me to trust and to let others help me when I need it. For always being there when I need you the most. And simply for being who you are.

Because you are everything I've ever dreamed of, all wrapped into one human being. And until recently, I didn't think a love like ours was possible.

where i have been.

I have been missing from this space for a little while, because I have been so busy transforming my life into a state that is so much healthier and happier. I have been trusting and listening to myself, surrounding myself with positive people, and literally enjoying every moment -- taking life in and loving where I am right now and where I will end up when my lease ends in August.

Pete and I have been feeling lonely since Sean moved out with Samson in November, and I have been on the lookout for a lab or lab mix puppy. I wanted a puppy because let's be honest, without cable or internet I am more than ready to take on the challenge and devote myself completely to our newest addition. Wednesday I found an amazing couple with lab/hound mix puppies, and from the moment we spoke I knew it wouldn't be long before we brought a puppy home. We picked up Hannah on Friday after I got off work, and I feel as though for now our little ''pack'' is complete. Her mother was a stray, so we've been working on de-worming issues (after 2 treatments there have been no worms in sight for two days!!!)... but other than that, I think she's pretty happy in her new home.

The four of us spent the entire weekend with my neighbor India who is quickly becoming a best friend and her two pups. We ate way too many burgers, laughed harder than I have in a long time, had heart to hearts, and discovered a new found love in Maker's Mark and Dr. Pepper ;) We also met up with one of our other amazing girlfriends, Sarah Anne, and did a little shopping and went out to lunch -- I am so blessed to have these incredible women in my life, and they came at just the right time. I truly belive the Universe has a way of balancing things out, and that they are in my life for a very distinct reason.

Life is pretty good right now, and if I've learned anything from separating from my high school sweetheart, it's that trusting yourself is the key to happiness. I won't say that there aren't times when I don't think about Sean or miss the feeling of comfort and security that come with being in a relationship, but I know this path is right for me.

These two melt my heart :)

My weekend in pictures: holiday edition

At the risk of sounding like a total scrouge, I will confess that Christmas isn't exactly my thing. I don't even have a Christmas tree this year, however I did manage to send out Christmas cards and my friends have done a pretty good job of trying to get me into the spirit.

This weekend was full of holiday parties: my best friends work party at a local brewery, a tacky Christmas sweater party, a gift exchange/brunch with some of my favorite girlfriends, and a 'fabulous' party at my friend Micheal's gallery. My body is seriously paying for the endless consumption of wine I indulged in over the weekend, and water has never tasted so gooooood.

[01] eating dinner on my counter top, because i sold my kitchen table and bar stools without really thinking that whole thing through. [02] i spent the whole day in bed Saturday with this handsome guy. [03] my tacky sweater... i like it because Santa's black. [04] all of the pretty gifts at our Christmas brunch. [05] a glass blowing demonstration at Micheal's party last night -- I got the be the volunteer and even got to help blow the glass! [06] at Michael's with some of my favorite neighbors!

Are you in the holiday spirit yet? I can't believe Christmas is Sunday -- are you kidding me?

zombie love/a very happy halloween to you!

This weekend Sean and I had our annual Halloween Bash and it was a huge success! We started the night ''adult trick or treating'' with some of our friends in our apartment building, and each spot had a delicious, Halloween themed adult beverage. The party then moved to our loft, where there was a ton of yummy finger foods and a punch that literally knocked me on my ass by the end of the night (aka...I had to buy a new shower curtain the next morning. whoops.)

Check out some of the guests.... everyone seriously looked amazing! Can you guess what everyone dressed as?

A heterosexual... hahaha :)

The Bronx Zoo Cobra!

Lady Gaga

TMNT <3

My husband lookin' hot in tights... and he sewed his costume himself!

Jesus!

Me with the ''Modern Day Drug Dealer'' ;)

''It's not easy being green'' :)

I had a ton of snacks on hand: lots of cookies, candy, popcorn, pizza bagels, chips, and probably the biggest hit of the night....... witches fingers dipped in blood! They came out a little fat, so next year I'll know to use less dough. All you do is roll pizza dough into finger shapes and add sliced almonds for fingernails. The blood is marinara sauce. I probably ate about 304923042314 fingers.

And of course, the pups dressed up and had a blast eating just as much as we did. The more I drank, the more cookies and fingers they got. Shame on my part... you can imagine what happens when a dog eats a ton of food when they usually don't get anything besides dog food and a few treats. But a few times a year can't hurt :)

Do you celebrate Halloween? Did you dress up this weekend or are you saving your costume for tonight? I would love to see pictures if you have them :)

My weekend in pictures :)

This weekend was seriously so much fun! I got to spend time with some of my best friends, eat a ton of delicious food, and made plenty of time to relax and watch movies.

1. Hanging out with my best friend Brittany on Friday

2. S'mores party at 1am after I got back from the bar (yes, I ate all of them by myself!)

3. Sean & Samson after the massive nap we took together on Saturday

4. Watching the Sunset from our rooftop

5. Being silly with my neighbor, Morgan :)

6. Homemade chicken veggie soup that I made on Sunday! So good!

7. Movies all day Sunday with my two pups, Pete & Samson

Anniversary + Watermellons + Movies = Image Heavy!

This weekend was awesome from start to finish :) I took Friday off, but somehow it still went by just as quickly as a regular weekend. . .

Friday Sean and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary, and it was honestly the best one out of all ten years - no joke! Sean had to get up and go to a meeting for work that morning, so I got up and fixed him a big breakfast and cleaned up our loft a little while he was gone. When he got home, we picked up subs and went to Movie Land (a 19th Century former locomotive assembly plan turned movie theatre - awesome! and they sell wine!) to see one of my honest to god top 10 favorite movies of all time -- The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I'm a huuuuuuge science fiction nerd, and I grew up loving the 1968 version, so you can imagine how excited I was seeing so many connections between the two movies. . . they did an awesome job! You have to go see the movie! Even if you weren't a fan of the old one, this movie keeps your attention the entire time and the relationship that you build with the main chimp, Ceasar, is incredible! Trust me!

After the movie, we went to Target and got a ton of stuff for our bedroom. Since we won't be able to move into a house this year (or maybe next, who knows) we've decided to make the most of it and re-decorate our loft room by room. What better room to start with on our anniversary ;) ?! We got a ton of new pillows, a comforter, and new sheets. I decided that my bff Denise had some really great advice -- don't settle for cheap things, instead save up and get really nice/expensive pieces that will look better and last a long time. So, Sean and I are currently looking for a shelf to hang on the wall and a nice looking floor lamp, which we'll pick up later at some point. When it's all finished, I'll give a little room tour because to be honest our loft is really amazing because it's an old warehouse (we have an old elevator shaft in our front walkway!) Also, we've decided to strip down my dresser and re-paint it. . . so I'm going to ask around about that & please let me know if you have any suggestions because I've never done anything like that before!

When we got home from Target, we got all dressed up and polished off a bottle of wine (classy, yes?) before heading out for dinner at Secco Wine Bar. Neither of us had ever been to this place before, and it's safe to say we fell in love. We got a bottle of wine and 3 cheeses and 3 meats and talked the night away. We even got dessert, an ice cream sandwich from heaven made out of waffle cones and chocolate hazlenut ice cream. It felt really awesome having a deep, wine induced heart to heart with my husband and when we got home (don't worry, we took a cab!) we sat and talked for another hour or so -- I love that we did that!

Check out how amazing our dinner was (sorry, low lighting!):



We spent the majority of Saturday laying around watching movies (because we were both pretty hung over and sluggish from Friday) but Sunday we met up with a few of our good friends and ventured to Carey Town for the annual Watermellon Festival. This festival is really cool, because the streets are filled with food venders, games, moon bounces, and other people selling things like clothes and jewelry. One of the tattoo shops was even giving out watermellon tattoo's for $40! I loved people watching, because everyone had on their watermellon gear and all of the resteraunts had watermellon flavored drinks!

To beat the heat, our group got a table at Galaxy Diner - I am obsessed with their fried pickles and space theme! We all got burgers and watermellon jello shots, and I also ordered a watermellon mimosa which in my opinion was absolutly disgusting, but I drank it anyway in the spirit of the festival!



Afterwards, we walked around a little bit but it was so hot and unbearable that we decided to hit up the Byrd for a movie. Unfortunantly, we had to wait 3 hours for the next flick, so we walked to Three Monkey's for more drinks and fun.

Side note: Sean got his picture taken and is going to be featured on a Richmond fashion blog - we've been laughing about it all night, but seriously he always looks amazing! Trust me, I'll be posting a link once it's up and bragging on him ;)

In case you were wondering, I'm obsessed with this shot - it's called a lemon drop and it's delicious!

 This is cheese that they light on fire! I ate wayyyyyy too much of this. . . but it was probably the best thing I've ever tasted ever!!!!

Finally, we left the bars and headed back to the Byrd - one of the coolest places in Richmond! It was originally built in the 20's and you can watch movies there for $2.00! We saw Bridesmaids, which was hilarious but not as hilarious as it could have been, in my opinion. But anyway, I talked a little bit about this theatre in this post about Richmond, and if you haven't been and are ever in the area you should definintly check it out. I totally think it's haunted, and can't wait to watch scary movies there in October :)



I'm excited to get this week over with, because on Friday I'm headed to Charlottesville to see Denise and Stuart (and their NEW HOUSE!) What did you do this weekend?



Adventure.

Ever since I promised myself to make more room for adventure in my life, the weekends have been so much sweeter! Last weekend I went rafting and wine tasting in Fincastle, Va. . . and yesterday I spent the entire day at my most favorite place in the whole entire world: The James.

Amber, Chris and I spent 7 hours swimming and soaking in the sunshine, and it felt like we were only there for a matter of minutes! So much fun :)

What did you do this weekend?