Eat Pray Love.

"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

— Elizabeth Gilbert

{1, 2, 3}



I'm probably really late on this, but if you've been procrastinating like I have... rent Eat Pray Love. I felt really good about myself after watching it, like I can do anything. I think I'll start with returning to Ekoji for meditation.

you are all stardust.

Is it just me... or do you find this to be incredibly romantic?

oh, and one more thing...

"This I believe: That the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.” John Steinbeck

It's actually pretty amusing that I haven't written about this topic before... because it is something that I am very passionate about {and I rarely limit what I think or feel}. Also, I have refrained from writing about this because I don't want to offend anyone, which is equally amusing considered it is a topic I am offended by on nearly a daily basis. But it is still worth talking about it and if you are sensitive to the subject of religion, then you might want to just stop reading now. Because I'm not holding back. At all.

Still interested? Here goes. It is my personal belief that religion has no place whatsoever in the work environment. I'm in social work, and it's funny how because of my career people tend to assume that I am a Christian and that there is no harm in sending emails inviting me to church events, or even phone calls from contracting agencies who want me to join them for church supper or some weekend conference. Kindly, no thank you. No. No. No. I think this is extremely rude and insensitive, yet I have to laugh because there is so much of an emphasis on "cultural differences" within our training for social work - yet the reality is totally opposite when it comes to religion.

For instance, we had a "Holiday" {aka Christmas} party last year. There was a huge debate on whether or not we should have a Christmas Tree... even though there wasn't really the space for it. One of my colleagues went on a rant about how we are taking God out of every aspect of Christmas, and how dare we even consider leaving out a Tree? News flash.... most Americans who celebrate Christmas aren't regulars in the  church pews. It's become a day of celebrating family and loved ones and most of all -- lots of food and lots of laughter. It's a magical day for children, whether they believe in Jesus or not... and who are we to take "Santa" away from them? Ugh. Work meetings shouldn't waste time arguing about a stupid tree.

Lately I have been having nightmares nearly every single night. My mother is a pastor and my father and his family have been attending the same church since he was a little boy. Up until about a year ago, I attended church every Sunday and kept my mouth shut. My questions were turned away and if I disagreed with anything that was said, I was met with judgement. I have left that church, because life is too short to sit in a room and feel offended and bogged down for an entire hour or more. And I have been to many different churches... they all mention the same things.... Do this or you're going to hell. Do that and you'll burn for eternity in the fiery pits of hell. So on and so forth. Blah blah blah, fear tactics don't really impress me.

So back to my nightmares. It is really a shame that my feelings about religion are surfacing while I dream. All of them have the same basic idea: people at my church find out that I am Buddhist and disown me. This is hurtful, because these are people that I have known for my entire life. Deep down I think that if they knew that I didn't buy all of the miraculous stories and flashy miracles... they would look at me differently and probably distance themselves. That hurts. I mean, my grandmother still thinks that I'm going to a Baptist church in the city, because I think she would literally die if she knew I was going to a Buddhist Temple.

Then there are my friends. I love my friends and respect their beliefs, but they are so offended when they hear that I'm still on the fence about whether God exists or not, and are appalled that I don't think it really matters either way. My parents feel that same way, and are still waiting for me to "wake up" and return to my "roots." I don't force people in my life to defend why they believe a certain thing... so why am I always put up against a group of people, defending mine. Not really fair in my opinion.

And who is to say that Christianity is getting back to my roots. What if I was born in China... or India... or South Korea... I mean honestly, luck is what it all comes down to. I am lucky to have been born to a family who loves me, in a country that is safe & to have the freedom to think for myself about the most important decision in my life: where did we all come from and why are we here? It just so happens that this same country is full of people who believe in God. {and a lot of that has to do with how you were raised}. But that doesn't mean that the majority rules and I don't get a say in my own spiritual path, or lack thereof if I so choose.

Recently I was told that I was going to hell because I am Buddhist. I am nothing special, but I love people and have spent my entire life helping others any way that I can. Not to pull the "I donated my kidney" card... but come on, I am not an evil person worthy of eternal damnation! In truth, I don't think anyone really deserves that, because who we are depends on where we've been and what we've seen or haven't seen. This is the same reason that I am 110% against the Death Penalty... but that's a totally different rant.

I am just annoyed, that's all. I feel that Christianity was founded on certain values such as --> not judging others and loving them despite their differences!!! Could be wrong though. That's just what I got out of 20+ years of my church experience. I hope that if you are still reading this, you maybe feel even a tiny bit the same way. You appreciate your freedoms in what spiritual path you choose, even if your path is unsure what to believe or maybe the path you follow has no God in it at all. Don't push your beliefs on others, and instead love them for who they are -- not who you think they should be. You never really know how what you say or do effects some one... so the safest bet is to let your opinions be opinions, for the sake of hurting people you genuinely care about.

And by all means... please please pleassssse keep religion out of the work place!

{Jesus found Here.}

Namaste

Namaste: I Bow to You!

Today I am reflecting on life and how our entire universe is connected. I am a huuuuuge astronomy freak and was watching something on the Discovery Channel about the planets in our solar system and couldn't bring myself to do anything but watch in amazement. Did you know that the planet Mercury is actually shrinking and that it's core makes up 60% of it's entire body? This could mean that Mercury was actually a much bigger planet, and that some cosmic collision blasted away it's outer layer! Mercury is so close to the Sun that we don't know a lot about it, because it's hard to send a satellite into it's orbit without it getting drawn into the Sun's gravitational pull. This is so cool...there is so much out there to learn and discover!

I have a point to this rant, I swear. My point is that energy does not disappear and so it is my belief that our bodies are made up of the same energy that created this universe and beyond. We are breathing the same recycled air of our ancestors, and when we burry our loved ones their bodies decompose and become apart of the Earth. I could not exist without you, and you could not exist without me... because we are all connected in some way.

I think this is comforting, because we are never alone and the connection that one can feel with Mother Nature is almost empowering. Maybe we will never walk on Mars {maybe we will} but we are made up of the same atoms and electrons and protons and everything that Mars is made of. In essence, we are not individuals because we all need eachother to exist. My favorite Ben Kweller quote is this: A broken branch I'd be, if you weren't grown to me. Without you, I am not apart of the tree of life but rather a lonely branch {enter Lion King music as appropriate, ha ha}

Namaste is a word that I think of often. It means I Bow to You. I love this idea, because it means that we are able to notice the beauty and compassion that every single person is capable of. This is an idea that I hope to pass on to my children, and I hope they will one day be so full of love for others that they won't be able to help but to give everything they can to relieve a persons suffering. I'm not saying that my children will have to become Buddhists like me, or Christian's like my family, or anything at all. I only want for them to have the capability of loving without condition. Love is what's important, not the label a person puts on their belief system.

Please continue to think compassionatley about my god-brother and his family. I go in for testing tomorrow and I hope that I am able to help him in some way. If I can't donate my kidney, I have hope that some one will come forward who can. He deserves a chance.

Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.

{Henry Ward Beecher}

First {almost} Macrobiotic Meal!!!!!

 

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. {Anne Frank}

So I did not make it to Ekoji tonight, because I am so so exhausted... but I am excited that tonight is my very first Macrobiotic meal {minus the Quorn Chicken - which is imitation, if you didn't know}. Tonight we are having short grain brown rice and miso soup, and of course the rest of the Quorn. Very simple... but we are still learning and I haven't been able to get to the store yet for the good stuff! I feel better already :)

Sweet Dreams -- the weekend is almost here!

Snowwww!

{Pete}

We are supposed to get another big snow storm this weekend... and our household is crossing our fingers for another weekend snowed in together! It is so nice to stay in PJ's all day, watch movies and play outside with my pups Pete & Samson. As you can see -- Pete especially loves the snow! I get so much joy out of watching him play in it... I am so thankful that he has gotten to see so much of it lately!

Of course... this may put a damper on my Macrobiotics shopping spree that I had planned for Friday after work. Luckily, we have a few things in the house already - so I am still going to attempt a few meals. I must admit, I have been very intimidated by this diet because it is so drastic, but luckily every website I look at reccomends a slow transition... which is what I am going to do so that I can {hopefully} make this into a way of life for good. I am very dedicated to changing my lifestyle for the better, so I am confident that this will work out and within a year I will be a *full-on Macrobiotic freak* {as my friends lovingly call it}! Also, the support from The Blissful Chef has been so helpful -- she's awesome, follow her blog!

I am looking forward to going to my Sangha tonight for meditation. It's been wayyy too long - probably 2 weeks due to snow and scheduling conflicts. I meditate at home, but it's not the same as when I am around other Buddhists.... somthing in the atmosphere puts me at peace and every moment there is so precious. I hope that you also have a "safe haven" in your life... somewhere you can go and feel totally yourself and at peace. I supposed this weekends weather will cause services on Sunday to be cancelled - so I am looking forward to making tonights meditation especially meaningful.

Finding Peace.

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. {Mohandas Gandhi}

As I continue to grow and change, I have made it a priority to find peace with my spirit within every moment of my life. Anxiety is somthing that I struggle with. I am always worried about somthing and have a deep, uncomfortable feeling in my chest for sometimes no apparent reason. This is no way to live - there are too many beautiful things in life that I am missing through worry. Hey, admitting you have a problem is the first step!

As I continue to read The Heart of Buddha's Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh, I am begining to learn more about myself and how to relax. breathe. enjoy the moment. Yesterday I was reading the chapter about the Three Dharma Seals, and remembered that we are all connected. We are all in this together, we are apart of the universe. We do not exist by merely ourselves.

A favorite quote from yesterday's reading: "Before it was recognizable as a sheet of paper, it must have been somthing else -- a tree, a branch, sunshine, clouds, the earth. In its former life, the sheet of paper was all of these things. If you ask the sheet of paper, "Tell me about all your adventures," she will tell you, "Talk to a flower, a tree, or a cloud and listen to their stories."

A tree does not spend its time worrying. Why should I? This is somthing I will continue to repeate so that I can remember that there is so much more to life and death than I am capable of comprehending at this time. Maybe one day -- until then, I will continue to learn.

This brings me back to Macrobiotics. I am so excited to visit Whole Foods and pick out items that are natural and healthy. Macrobiotics is a spiritual way of life, it is so much more than eating. I cannot wait to get closer to my mother earth by eating foods that have not been altered. My grocery list has been made, I have been chewing {and chewing and chewing!} and I feel ready. This is right. This will bring me back to my roots - the tree, the sunshine, the flower, the ocean. These are all apart of me and I am apart of them. Life is beautiful and we are all in this together - there is no time or reason for anxiety. Enjoy the moment!

{Saying Goodbye}

Rest in Peace Desmond -- You are missed already more than you know friend.

I am currently reading a book called The Heart of Buddha's Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh {huuuuge fan of his btw} and came across a passage that gave me some peace on the idea of death, somthing I have never been good at understanding or dealing with.

The passage is this: "A wave can be recognized by signs - high or low, beginning or ending, beautiful or ugly. But in the world of the water, there are no signs. In the world of relative truth, the wave feels happy as she swells, and she feels sad when she falls. She may think "I am high," or "I am low," and develop a superiority or inferiority complex. But when the wave touches her true nature - which is water - all her complexes will cease, and she will transcend birth and death."

He goes on to say: "If we look deeply, we will know that we have never been born and we will never die. A wave is born and dies, is higher or lower, more or less beautiful. But you cannot apply these notions to water. When we see this, our fear will suddenly vanish."

For some reason those passages give me a sense of peace. Thinking about a dear friend who has passed away and comparing him to a wave rising and falling does not seem scary or sad or confusing. Wherever he is, I hope he is also happy and at peace. We love and miss you dearly, Dez. Rest in peace.

Happy Thursday!

"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else." {Buddha}

I am new to the blogging world, and I think my inspiration to finally jump on this bandwagon is because I am in desperate need of a creative outlet. A place where I can be myself - free of judgement. Journaling is good for the soul, and with all of the recent changes in my life I feel it is a good idea to get some of this down. I feel that it makes things more real.

I recently began studying Buddhism and have been going to a Sangha a few times a week to meditate. For me this feels right. I have had conflict with my family over this {my mother is a Methodist pastor} but for once in my life I am putting my happiness above pleasing others. I have been a vegetarian for about 5 years now, and feel that I am ready to take things a step further. It is very important to be aware of things that are going into your body. Your soul is a temple and capable of bringing peace to so many people - and it's important to keep yourself healthy in order to do this.

If you haven't already seen the documentary Food Inc I encourage you to do so. It has opened my eyes to so many things and made me realize that I cannot rely on the government or a supermarket to tell me the truth about what is healthy and what is harmful. My husband and I try to eat mostly organic {especially dairy products}, but even some of those products are full of corn byproducts and other fillers that can be harmful. I have recently been inspired to try a Macrobiotic Diet and plan to start in February. This is going to be a drastic change in the way that I eat, and it will more than likely lead me to veganism, but again I feel it is important to keep your body healthy and this is a great way to do it. If you aren't familiar with Macrobiotics, I encourage you to check out this website: http://www.fitnessbegin.com/dieting/zenmacrobioticdiet.html


I will keep you all updated on my challenges and successes of this diet and any advice or meal plans would be greatly appreciated! I hope that blogging becomes a habbit and somthing that I can look forward to every morning. See you tomorrow!