Monday, May 10, 2010

home again.

I feel like it's been ages since I've blogged. Not too happy about that. But it feels good to be back. I have been so busy lately that it's nice to be at a point where I can stop & just relax. I turned in my portfolio on Friday and my fingers are crossed that I at least get some feedback - good or back. I've also decided to submit 1 or 2 articles per week to local newspapers and online magazines... once something is published my portfolio will rock!

Mother's Day. I did not get to see my beautiful momma yesterday, but I did get to talk to her on the phone. Today she is on her way to DC for some classes that she is taking. She loves school. This was the very first Mother's Day that I have not been able to kiss her pretty little face... and that was very sad. It made me feel a little too grown up and distant from the woman who has done so much for me throughout my life.

When I was younger, my mom & I would sit in the mud and make mud pies. I remember thinking how cool that was - that she was willing to get in the dirt with me and play. I was a sneaky little girl, and she always had to check my pockets before I came inside... they were usually hiding frogs, worms or insects of some sort. But I do remember swimming in our pool in the summertime, and she would be working in the yard and would surprise me with a big toad she had found. She used to put them right into the pool so that I could watch them swim. She always fostered my love for animals and facination with living things.

She has always been the one I cry out for when I'm scared or in pain. I used to have these nightmares that were so scary and felt so real that they took my voice. I was literally too scared to speak. Have you ever had a dream like that? I used to run into her room and jump inbetween her and my dad and she made me feel so safe. I felt like nothing could get me, because my momma was there to keep me safe.

When I was in the hospital last month, I got really sick because I was taking a lot of pain medicine and wasn't able to eat solid food. After a while I got tired of jello and stopped eating altogether. Every morning I woke up and waited for her to come. I knew she would be there early, and would not leave me by myself for long. One day I got really sick, that was probably the worst day for me. This may be too much information... but basically the pain medicine was making me nauseous because I was taking it on an empty stomach and I threw up. Everywhere. My husband & dad instantly ran for cover, but my mom was right there with me... covered in it. I remember thinking "this is love." I mean, to sit there and comfort me even when it was causing her discomfort... that's incredible. She spent the night with me that night because I was afraid to be alone, and never once complained about being tired, uncomfortable or bored. I will never forget that as long as I live.

So these were the thoughts I was remembering yesterday as I woke up and streched my arms to the sunlight, pulling my body up and out of bed. The first Mother's Day without her. I wondered what she was doing and hoped she was happy and felt as blessed as I do.

Sean & I took a walk to the river and sat down near the bank watching turtles and families of ducklings. People passed by through the rapids on their kyaks and canoe's and it felt nice to feel the sun shining on my back. We didn't stay long, but I love sharing that time with my husband. I love being in nature and so close to the water, and I love that every once in a while he will join me. Even if it's hot and he's still tired from the night before.
We came home and made margaritas and ate cheese and crackers. It was fabulous. Our puppies napped beside us as we watched a movie and it was such a great feeling to be with my family. My new family, that was still blooming and growing by the minute.

I thought Samson had ruined my garden last week. He loves to dig his nose in the dirt and no matter how hard I try I can't keep him out of it. However, I looked in my planter this weekend and saw little peppers sprouting up from the ground. Ahh.. such a proud, proud moment.

We gathered our things and piled up in the car and headed to my inlaws for lunch. We grilled out and spent time talking and laughing and enjoying every second we had together. We all sat around the living room sharing stories and laughing some more, and by the time we looked at a clock it was already time for dinner. I love when that happends, when you're having so much fun that time passes without even feeling it. So we grilled out again. We love to grill and Sean is an awesome cook!
This weekend was so relaxing and although it passed too quickly, was a great reminder of how important my family is to me. I love my mother and can't wait to see her once she returns from DC. I will give her a big hug and tell her how proud I am of her, for following her dream accomplishing her goals. She will do great.


How was your weekend?


  1. Awww you made me cry. I love you Kara and am inspired daily by your pure nature of love and optimism. Keep on being you!

  2. this is beautiful. your mom is a wonderful soul.


speak your mind! always!

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