Sometimes I feel like life throws you things all at once. And that can be a bit overwhelming, which is why I've been pretty quiet in this space. I've been taking time to meet new people, get out of the house, and just be extra good to myself. Because I've realized that in the past, when I am sad, I tend to stay home and dwell on it. But that doesn't really change anything, and keeping busy allows me to enjoy every moment of life -- even the not so good ones.
I've also realized that I'm at a point in my life where I need to grow; to branch out. I've realized that some of the people in my life haven't been the healthiest for me at this time, and that letting them go is a whole lot more freeing than sad. I've realized that when you surround yourself with negative people, you become negative. And I don't want to be that way, when I am still so young and have so much to give of myself to those around me. I deserve to be respected, and those who do not offer that respect easily aren't worth my time or effort.
I've learned that I cannot control things. Things happen and the universe does not look to me before giving the 'ok'. Some things happen that I cannot possibly see the reason for, but I now understand that these things may allow another person to grow and change in the way that they have needed to. I can't take responsibility for a kidney failing or for a life long friend turning her back. It isn't all about me.
I think that this has been a long winter, but each day that passes brings us closer to the spring. And I am confident that when I look back at this moment, I will know that these lessons will carry me through adulthood. That although I am just at the beginning of understanding, I will continue to learn about life and my place in this universe. I won't try to change people, but rather see them as they are and let go if I need to. I won't take possession of bad feelings and circumstances, because they are not for me to control. The universe has a way of balancing things out in nature, and by letting her do just that I will learn to free my own spirit.