Friday, April 30, 2010

A Delightful Weekend.

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
{Kahlil Gibran}

It's Friday. Finally. I survived my first week back to work in nearly an entire month.
It's hard to stay focused today, knowing that tomorrow and the next day will be filled with lots of sunshine and plenty of warmth.

Sean is buying me flip flops today.

This weekend is going to be so relaxing. I can feel it. Tonight will probably be spent somewhere on a patio sipping on an iced beer and laughing with friends until it hurts. Wearing a tank top. And those flip-flops.

Tomorrow I am going to Arts in the Park, and everybody knows how much I swoon and melt over community events. And art. Good art.

Sunday... no plans. Which is nice. I imagine that I will sleep in with my wonderful hubby and breathe in the last few moments of what is sure to be a delightful weekend.

What are you going to do this weekend? Whatever it is, I hope you smile while doing it!

A little taste of past years Arts in the Park. Delish.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

exploring new waters.

We must go beyond textbooks, go out into the bypaths and untrodden depths of the wilderness and travel and explore and tell the world the glories of our journey.
{John Hope Franklin}

I started blogging several months ago for one specific reason: I was craving a creative outlet and couldn't ignore this intense desire any longer. So here I am.

I have always loved writing, but never felt it was a practical hobby. First of all, I have never been "practical." I am a dreamer with an imagination big enough to fill every ocean on this planet. And then some. So ignoring this passion was difficult, but I still managed to leave my studies as an English major and move onto Psychology and Criminal Justice. You know, subjects that could lead me to an official career. So I thought.

So for two years now I have been practical. I would be lying to you if I said it hasn't hurt my soul a little and left me feeling empty and used up. I love my job - it's amazing how good I can be with teenager's, especially those struggling with so much. But it's not enough. It limits my imagination and suffocates my creativity. So this has left me searching; wandering off of the "safe" path and left me exploring new waters.

This blog has captured my first love. I may not be the best writer in the world, but I have the heart and desire. That I know for sure. So on Tuesday night I sat at my computer and started applying for any journalism job I could find: paying or not, it did not matter. It was so freeing and almost felt like I was venturing out of the norm, of what I am "supposed to be and do", and following my dream.

I checked my inbox this morning and there were not one but two replies. I looked at my inbox and felt my heart race in excitement. I had been heard. Whether I quickly get a journalism job or not, that is not the point. The point is that I have stopped ignoring my passion and that if these jobs don't pan out in the way I want them to, there will be more opportunities. There is always another chance. Dreams stick around and nag until you listen, and once you open up your ears it's impossible to go back.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

my dad is my hero.

Last night my dad returned from Haiti -- brining with him lots of pictures and a refreshed perspective on life and humanity. He is my hero. Last week he emailed me and said that if I were with him, I wouldn't want to leave the people. He's probably right. He loves children and is so amazing with them. My dad brought his old softball glove and some softballs, and taught a few boys how to play ball. He is blind to color or status or sex. He get's it.

When I see my fathers passion for others, I am at my proudest. I want to mirror him and long to one day humble myself in ways that he does so often. He is such an inspiration; one of the few people who understands me and has the courage to do things I can only dream of. He left us and went to Haiti on his own, with a group of others he didn't necessarily know. He's brave and strong and happy and the best example of love. The best example of peace and innocence.

I don't want to babble or put my perspective on a trip that I was not able to attend. Instead, I want to share with you some photos that he took. I hope they inspire you in the way that they did me.

We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise anyone who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking in ambition.
{William James}

Monday, April 26, 2010

Epic Weekend -

My friends are my estate.
{Emily Dickinson}

This weekend was beyond words perfect. The best way to celebrate my recovery and get {some} of my craziness out, just in time to return to work. I will probably replay this weekend over and over and over... as it will bring a smile to my face while I return to work and my usual routine.

Friday night was epic. We had friends over and I was able to see people that I haven't been out with in weeks. I knew that I missed my friends, but I didn't really get just how happy I would be to reconnect with each of them and enjoy being carefree. It's been weeks since I've been out to a bar... and it felt good to just relax and have a good time. The weather was perfect for a cold beer, enjoyed on a patio deck with some of my favorite people.

{Mallory & Aimee - 2 favs}

Saturday night we celebrated my friend Aimee's birthday and I remembered how it felt to be in college again. We ran around all night until 4 o'clock in the morning as if we had no responsibilities. My friends Dan & Logan came into town and we tried a new resteraunt, which was a fabulous beginning to our night. It was really good to just let go and relax... I usually don't stay out that late {or early!} and it was nice to just take it moment by moment rather than worrying about the consequences of lost sleep. I felt so alive and it was just the most bliss I've felt in a while; it was so very freeing -- as shallow as that may sound to some. It's so much fun to laugh until it hurts and so touching to be with those who mean so much to you.

Sunday was the most amazing day ever with my husband! There was an Earth Day festival in our neighborhood and we had so much fun people watching, listening to local music & learning about urban gardening. I bought an extremely cool plant garden from Tricycle Gardens that I can use indoors to grow cabbage, tomatoes, peas and other yummy things. We also picked up some veggie sprouts to grow as well as a few "Flower Bombs" -- balls of dirt filled with wildflower and sunflower seeds... can't wait to try these out! Before you know it, my little garden will be producing dinner!

We also took a look at Warehouse 201, which is near where we are living now. We love our loft, but need one that is ours. I am so tired of renting, and it was exciting looking at lofts similar to the one we are in now, that we could own! We are meeting with the realtor next week and he's going to show us several floor plans. I am giddy. Who knows -- this time next year we could be relaxing in our very own first home... that would just be fantastic.

Today it is back to work, but I am still riding off of the high from this weekend. I felt so carefree spending time with my friends, and I always have a soft spot in my heart for community events. I want to try and become more involved in Urban Farming groups and may even attend some group meetings that I learned about. Every little bit helps, and it's nice to see people farming in the city!

Enjoy today and do not forget to count your blessings.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Love your mother... Earth!

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. {John Muir}

Happy Earth Day -- I hope that today you will take a moment to love your mother. Soak up her sunshine, embrace her leaves and recieve her comfort.

And after you do that... do the same tomorrow, and the next day, and the next...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Green Thumb.

Plants cry their gratitude for the sun in green joy.
 {Astrid Alauda}

For the past few months, I have been growing small plants in my kitchen. I have never been very good with gardening, but lately I have been quite impressed with myself. I get an unexpected sense of joy when I look at a small pot of dirt and see tiny green sprouts peeking out. It's amazing to know that with my love and careful attention, I have brought a tiny seed to life. Isn't that incredible?

So one of my best friends bought me a tomatoe kit as a "get well" gift once I left the hospital. The tomatoes are growing and growing and I have so much fun watching them and even talking to them as I pass by. My husband made a comment last week that has really got me thinking. He said "what will happen to your tomatoes when they outgrow that kit?" Valid point.

So Sean, you have unintentionally inspired me. I have been thinking all week about how incredible it would be to have a small garden in our loft. How fun to pick our dinner and never have to worry about running to the store for a vegatable we need. I have all these ideas running through my mind... and I am ready to turn this into a reality. I feel it will be very zen and give those who pass it a sense of healing and serenity.

Do any of you have indoor plants - any advice? I am going to discuss this with my father in law and figure out how to put this together. I feel like it's a form of art... colors blending and growing and running against the wall like a canvas or something.

I am so excited for my little garden!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Sunny Days

This weekend could not have been more beautiful. We spent Saturday & Sunday with my in-laws -- Sean helped his dad clean up the shed {it looks awesome!} & I spent the days gossiping and watching TV with his mom. I am so incredibly lucky to have in-laws that I get along with. Seriously. They are so amazing and so much fun to spend time with.

This is my last week off work, so I intend to enjoy it. Especially since my sick leave and vacation time is totally used up at this point. My mom is coming back into town Tuesday and having a little sleepover until Wednesday so that she can give me rides to all of my appointments this week. I see a lot of daydreaming on our rooftop deck happening in the next several days. And nights at patio bars. Delish.

Also, my dad left for Haiti yesterday. He is probably on a plane right now and will be there at some point today. I was able to talk to him yesterday and he said that he was excited, but also a little nervous. He just doesn't know what to expcet. I am so sure once he gets there he will be in total bliss. He is helping to re-build a school and will get to spend some time with the children there, which I am sure will bring him lasting memories of joy. I am so very proud of my father, he loves to help out in any way that he can and has such a sincere heart. He's my hero.

As if I couldn't be lucky enough with everything I just shared, my friends Dan & Ellen are coming to visit this weekend. I just continue to feel so blessed. I always love it when people come to visit, because I love my city so much that I want to share every little detail with people I love. I want them to love it, too.

I am counting my blessings every single day and continue to remember how lucky I am. My family is so special and unique and complicated and I just love them all so much. People always say that you can't choose your family, but I think that if I could, I would choose every member of mine in a heartbeat. Please keep my father and the children whose lives he will surely touch in your thoughts this week. The positive energy that surrounds him is so evident and I can't wait to see pictures and hear his stories once he returns home.

Enjoy the sunshine and warmth of today :)


Sunday, April 18, 2010

i dreads

i hope you are enjoying the beautiful sunshine this weekend {we are}! just playing around with my dreads and new rad glasses:-)

have a lovely day, xoxo

Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday Morning.

{some of the beautiful gifts i've recieved this week...}

"A cheerful friend is like a sunny day spreading brightness all around."

{ John Lubcock}

I have so much that I have wanted to say to all of you... and I'm still not sure how my emotions will be able to fit in this tiny space. This time last week I was in an incredible ammount of pain, crossing my fingers that I would be home soon - lucky for me Saturday afternoon I was discharged from the hospital. Mitchell was discharged last Saturday as well, but since then he has traveled back and forth and is currently struggling to keep his blood pressure under control. His kidney is doing well, but if they do not get his medications corrected it could lead to further damage. Please continue to send supportive and loving vibes -- he still needs us rooting for him.

This week has been such a blessing otherwise. My mother came to visit and it was nice having her all to myself. We shopped, went out to eat, watched movies... all in all I had an amazng time with her. Also, she was there when I needed dread maintainence and and even volunteered to clean my floors. Mom's are so great in that way. Those tiny yet ultimate examples of love that they sprinkle over their children, who still desperately need them no matter what their age.

It has been nice sleeping in my own bed. I think I dream better there, rather than a hospital bed where nurses come checking vital signs and drawing blood every hour. I have also realized just how special a goodnight kiss is from my husband as I drift off to sleep. He is so good to me. I think this experience has opened my eyes to how much I am loved, and how much I love and appreciate those around me.

I do believe that I have been changed. I worry about Mitchell as if he was my blood-born brother and feel connected to him in a way that I've never felt before. I appreciate little things, such as the ability to walk down the street - taking a special interest in birds singing. Especially robins. Being outside is an entirely new blessing, and when the breeze touches my cheek I feel as though Mother Earth is leaving behind a gentle kiss. I didn't realize it before, but this surgery put my life on the line and made me realize what is truly important. As I was being wheeled into the OR, the only things passing through my mind were my husband, my family, friends & my dogs. For the first time I wasn't concerned with how I looked or what I was wearing. For the first time I was leaping head first, eyes closed, trusting the steady hand of my surgeon and the transplant team.

Last night I had a dream that I was climbing a book shelf. I kept climbing higher and higher and noticed that someone was chasing me. As I began to climb even faster books began to fall from their shelves and I found it harder and harder to keep hold of the shelf. Then my hand rested on a tiny, pocket sized paper back. I made it to the top of the shelf and was greeted by a professor who asked me what the most important lesson I had learned while on Earth. I handed over the paperback  - a small book of quotes centering around the importance of peace. The professor mocked me and shook his head; this was not his idea of a passing answer. But I held firmly to that book and when I woke up, realized that the world can be changed one peaceful act at a time.

I gave a peice of myself to Mitchell, and as a result others passed along peices of themselves to me. My life is not over and I still have so much to learn, but I still think that my greatest victory once this life is over will be my fight for peace.

I hope you will join me and together we can change the world.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Hello blogging friends! I just wanted to do a quick bloggie today to update everyone on my crazy week. As you can see, my hair is fully dreaded & Jessi did an AMAZING JOB! 5 hours of non-stop backcombing and the journey begins...
{I secretly think Sean likes them}

I have been in the hospital all week and was able to come home on Saturday. Everything has been going well, other than a few days of the worst pain in my life - but I would do it again in a second. The surgeons could not believe that Mitchell's new kidney was producing urine while he was still in the recovery room, and once his blood pressure evens out he will get to come home too.

Since coming home I have been resting and taking it easy. My mom came over today and worked from my loft. We took a little break for shopping, lunch & to visit Mitchell. I will post some pictures soon, but I have about 5 bouquet's of flower's lined up on our counter and dozens of cards... I am so amazed and thankful for the support I have been given and the love I have been shown. It's so good to be home.

Now for a nap.... xoxo

Friday, April 02, 2010

Happy Day!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” {Howard Thurman}

Yesterday was such a blessing because Samson is feeling much better -thanks to many kind thoughts and prayers- and my wonderful husband surprised me with these lovely flowers {pictured above} last night. This makes today even more special, because I truly feel loved. I woke up feeling happy, optomistic, excited...alive! Sitting here this morning, I keep looking around my office. Almost taking a mental photograph of a place where I spend nearly 50 hours of my week. I am so thrilled that I won't have to work for 2 1/2 weeks... but I still wonder if I will miss this desk, my co-workers or my lovely little teenage clients {heh!}.

But right now, in this moment, all I can think about is being free! Sure, I'll be recovering from surgery... but I can still sit outside and enjoy lunch on our rooftop deck, fall asleep in the middle of the day watching movies, and hopefully do a little shopping in Cary Town.

It's still hard for me to imagine that this is real. That in 3 days one of my organs will be taken out of my body and put into another. The whole concept is facinating... and I am so so so excited to be apart of this process. I feel so lucky that I have been given this opportunity, to give a person their life back. I just know that it will change me and inspire me and give my life more meaning.

So today is not just Friday. It's the last day to run my fingers through my hair before dreading them tomorrow morning, the last day waking up early, and basically the beginning of something so much bigger than I can understand right now.

I hope you find inspiration in today. If nothing else, the sunshine alone should be able to help with that! And never underestimate the power you have in this universe -- you can even change the world if you so desire.

I believe in you.

Thursday, April 01, 2010


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." {Roger Caras}

Today is bittersweet. First the bad, then I'll leave you with something good. I think Samson is sick... he is still active and happy and loving, but he keeps throwing up his food and this morning he threw up a little blood. He has allergies so I am crossing my fingers that the blood is just a reaction to his throat being raw. Either was it's very, very scary. Today I am a worried mother. Please keep a warm place in your heart for my doggie. If he isn't better by this evening... he's going stright to the vet.

I love you, Buddy.

now for the good:

Today is April 1st. For many people... it's just April Fool's Day. For me and Sean however, this marks the 9th year in a row that we have been together. We have truly grown together and I could not imagine my life without him in it. He was made for me.

Cheers, to my best friend and my lover and my safety net. You are perfect for me in every single way.

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