"Just knowing you exist changed the world for me."
Tiffanie DeBartolo (God-Shaped Hole)
This is probably pretty silly. But I've been thinking about what kind of mother I want to be. I figure, why not start now. When I have time to plan ahead and prepare myself for everything that's about to happen. Because I will be responsible for another persons little life, and I will be the only mother that they ever have. Even if it's 3... 4... 5... years down the road, this is something that I've dreamt about my entire life.
So, if you are a mother and you are reading this... please share your memories, dreams, realities. The good and the bad. I feel like I was meant to be a mother. I know that may sound funny, but I am nurturing and loving and am so excited for the day that a child enters my life. It may be really, really hard. Probably not always fun. But definitely worth it.
Lately I have been reading a lot about vaccinations. I want to learn more about this, because I feel that my first decision as a parent will be if my child is vaccinated or not... especially since I now know that the Hepatitis B vaccine is typically given before the baby even leaves the hospital. Before their tiny immune systems have had the time to adjust to life outside of the womb. Not to mention, Hepatitus is usually contracted by exposure to the disease through sex, dirty needles or transferred from the mother during childbirth - not really something that most babies are at risk for. And they will have to be re-vaccinated around age 7. And I don't think I like that. The whole idea of vaccinations seems wonderful on the surface, but the more I read about possible side effects of autism, brain damage, seizures and SIDS... the more I wonder, is this worth it?
I want to have a natural birth. No drugs. And I would prefer a water birth at home. I especially don't want to circumcise my future son. So if I am taking all of these precautions... not drinking or smoking while pregnant, not using an epidural to ease what I am sure will be the most intense pain of my life, choosing to breast feed... why would I consider putting a foreign object into my child's body? I didn't even realize, but vaccines do not make you immune to a disease for life... so while I had chickenpox as a child and can now be exposed as an adult and be fine, some one who has had the vaccine is still at risk for catching this disease in later life, when it is much more dangerous and can often be deadly. Why not have "Chicken Pox Parties" like I had as a child... where they may get a little ill for a few days, but they will be immune for the rest of their lives?
Also, the United States has one of the highest reportings of SIDS in the entire world. And the peak death averages are around 3 months, 6 months and 9 months... coincidentally when babies are given groups of vaccines. Or is it a coincidence? That really freaks me out.
Maybe I am making a big deal out of something that I shouldn't. I am just not sure I am ready to close my eyes and hope that my child isn't perminently damaged from a shot that was meant to protect them. Any parents out there have ideas on this? How did you decide what to do... because I know that if my husband & I decide not to vaccinate... we will have to be armed with reasons why we chose this option for our child.