old schooooool... 3-4 years ago at a wedding :)
I'm really not one to sugar coat. And I hope that I don't come across as some one who thinks that they are so perfect or so together. Really, not so much. My life can be really sloppy and there are times when I am such a bitch. Last night and pretty much several days a week for the past several months..........lots of good examples of me being a bitch.
{please please don't start counting in your head these examples, I'm trying so hard to be humble!}
It's really super easy to blame your spouse for every argument, mess, bad movie, un-made bed, pile of dog crap on the floor, dirty sink, dirty dishes, gross tuna steak {are you getting the picture?} On the other hand, it is really hard to step back and look in the mirror. Yesterday I actually told Sean to look in the mirror after an argument... and it made me realize that I need to take my own advice. Ouch..
I don't really know why I've been such a bitch lately... and I don't feel like listing excuses because several come to mind, but they don't really matter or get me off the hook. The truth is, marriage is really freakin' hard. "They" were not lying when they said for better or for worse. It's actually the hardest thing I've ever done, because I like taking care of myself and doing what I want, when I want.
{I lovingly refer to this as "independence"}
But then I look at pictures of Sean and I - like the super cute one above - and I remember all of the things we have been through. A lot happends in 10 years.... he's even changed a bed pan and cleaned up puke ewwww. It's not really worth fighting over dirty lofts or clothes on the floor when you look at the "big picture." You know, the one where I'm married to a man who is almost blind to sterio-typical gender roles, cooks dinner for me every night, allows me to flirt at the bar for free drinks {hey, we both benefit on this one!!}, and basically does most of what I tell ask him to do.
He even took off of work Friday so that we could have a 4 day weekend together for our anniversary.... after he told me he couldn't because he had too much work. And said he'd go to the river, since I already made plans with my friends thinking he'd be working. Did I mention he hates the river?
So, I guess I don't have it that bad after all. And I really need to stop being such a bitch.
In the words of Kevin Mcallister...
"I'm sorrrrrrrry!"
inside joke.
cute photo :)
ReplyDeletei know how blaming can be :) me and my boyfriend are terribly guilty of it. We are learning to let the little things go.
ReplyDeleteThere are 15 people in this house and you're the only one that has to make trouble!
ReplyDeleteYou know, for a wife and person in general to commit a blog specifically to tell yourself to stop being such a "bitch" is truly selfless. It sounds like your husband is truly a great person and you definitely must be too! Remember that we all can not be perfect, but it is a beauty when one can really just look within and find a different sense of understanding. For this, you rock. :)
ReplyDeleteMarriage.. That seems to be something that is circulating so heavy on many of my friends and acquaintances minds lately (me included).. I sometimes wonder if men and woman are truly meant to be together on a daily basis. I think we all work better when we have individual space and we meet in the middle. Why on earth was that saying made.. Distance makes the heart grow fonder!!
ReplyDeleteMarriages is tough at times. Just remember to stop. breath. and remember why you joined in the first place. I am working on this too.
Just be thankful that it is just the two of you. Once you add other spirit bodies in the mix like kids it really makes things edgy.
Hang in there. I have been with my husband for 18 years and he still likes to leave the socks next to the basket. :-)
and I still want to pop his head off for doing so. It's all relative to life.