I feel like I have been gone for a very long time. I have been rushing from training to training and relaxing in between at Corolla Beach. But this space brings me back to my center and reminds me of the importance in reflection. The importance in sitting back and looking at who we are as people and what we have done and will do to make a difference.
Writing is so important to me that when I don't have the chance to sit down and type... I miss it. I miss the emotions that it stumbles upon and the way it forces me to look at things in a different way. So, it is good to be back.
I have been away from home for several days, and it felt so good to sleep in my own bed last night with my two puppies that I have missed so much. It was nice laying there, listening to the rain, as Samson and Pete curled up so close to me that we ended up in one giant dog pile. I love sleeping in a pile. I love being a part of a family with them and with my husband and our tiny loft with so much personality. We talked, Sean and I, and we may stay here just a little longer.
Lately I have been a little sad. But nothing will change if I sit and dwell on things without doing something - anything - to make it even a little better. I am starting with our loft. There is so much that can be done with it, but I have neglected to do so because I have been so wrapped up in buying our own home. The loft needs some love. I think tonight I will start by re-arranging our bedroom and may move from room to room looking for insirpation. I may even splash a little color on the walls. It needs a definite pick me up, and so do I.
I am unhappy at work, and although I should be thankful to have a job in the first place, I find myself bored and useless. Like a paper pusher. I continue to submit writing sample after writing sample, and some day soon I will be discovered and it will be a nice little oasis for myself. I've also been looking for jobs in my feild that will make me happy and allow me to do more. We spend so much time at work, and sitting in an office without windows just isn't for me. So I'm going to change that.
I have just been thinking so much about this lately that it's been consuming me. The need to change and re-arrange and re-invent myself has totally taken over everything else. I feel inspired at the possibilities that are before me, and the simple fact that by this time next year I have no idea where I will end up. I need that little bit of not knowing to uplift my spirits.