Thursday, June 03, 2010

theme of today: love yourself.

The theme today seems to be this: loving yourself. So many beautiful souls have written about this, and it's actually nice to know that we all have the same struggles and insecurities... because we are all going through this together. I have realized that I get a little self-conscious about my dreadlocks, because they're still babies and they don't do what I want when I want. Sometimes I crawl into a corner, because I see someone from across the room with mature dreads and I feel like they're judging me. Yet I still keep them. It's crazy... but I do love them and I know that one day the journey will get easier and I won't think twice about leaving home with them in my face and strung down across my shoulders. I like looking at these pictures of what they could  be.... but also like the suspense in not knowing exactly what they will be. They do seem to have a mind of their own.

This whole journey finally started after obsessing over this hairstyle since high school. I finally had the courage to get them - even though people told me not to. That they would look bad. That they may hurt my career. People even still tell me to brush them out. But I think they are empowering to a point, because no matter what people say, I have to search deep down inside myself and remember why I got them in the first place. Because I don't want to care what people think about me. The only thing I want people to see when they look at me is a kind person with a heart so full of love that at times it feels as though it may burst. I don't want to spend hours straightening my hair, when I could be spending it with people I love.

I have been looking at myself in the mirror lately. Really looking. And it's because I have been inspired by so many of you. When I look at my reflection I see a person, not a monster. Not some one who needs to lose 20 pounds to be pretty or to be happy or confident. I still feel uncomfortable with my body, but at least I am able to see some beauty when I look at myself. I have a long ways to go. I think people are right when they say that we are our biggest critics. Do you really notice my flabby arms, or am I obsessing to the point that I am making a big deal out of nothing. Am I really stressing myself out to the point where I can't enjoy myself, when you don't even notice that I forgot to put on make up this morning? Does it even matter?

So, I am so thankful and extremely lucky to be surrounded by such beautiful women in my life. Such confidence and reassurance and love. After reading some of your blogs today, I feel girly again and ready to pick myself up and continue living. Life is too short to worry about how I look in these jeans anyway. Besides -- I love my free spirit, tan skin, freckles and each of my pretty little {and not so little} tattoos!

What do you love about yourself?


  1. beautiful words from a beautiful girl! i loved reading this... and oh my, those photos! gorgeous dreaded women... i love that third photo the best. stunning!

  2. Beautiful words indeed! You write really well.

    I take it you're in the US? What part? I have never been there, although it is in our top five travel destinations, so one day we'll make it...

    As for what I love about myself, I like my colouring. I'm a redhead with fair skin and used to HATE it, but I wouldn't change it for the world now. The process of maturing hey...?


speak your mind! always!

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