Friday, September 10, 2010

'don't ask, don't tell'

I need to stop reading the comments about this. It's ruining my perfect dream of a perfect world that is probably never going to exist anywhere except for inside my imagination. A world where people love without conditions, and where fear doesn't breed hate but only a cause for a deep conversation which leads to deeper understanding. Every time I hear a racist or homophobic slur I literally feel my heart breaking a little bit more. I feel physical pain and nausea. And I wonder, why are we doing this to one another. Why are we moving three steps backwards before even taking one step forward.

I don't think I will ever be able to understand why we as human beings are so afraid of others who are living different paths. Because that's what this is: heated, overwhelming, ugly fear. And I think to myself, over and over and over and over, trying to make sense of it all, but I can't. Should we really punish people for loving. And how can we dictate to another person who is okay and not okay to spend their lives with. How are there so many rules, and who is really in charge here? Forcing the paths we must all blindly follow. No questions asked.

This morning my husband told me that the 'don't ask, don't tell' law had finally been ruled unconstitutional. I felt a very large, uncomfortable lump in my throat. So many things wanted to be said... but I couldn't form the words to make a sentence which reflects what I feel. But I did feel very sick, because the first thought that came into my mind was what if now there are more hate crimes. What if. Taking one step forward, three steps back. Because it's not always safe to be yourself when you're surrounded by blood thirsy animals, craving to feast on anything different or unique.

Why are people so hell bent on fighting for the sanctity of marriage when in reality we don't seem to cherrish marriage at all. People get married, divorced, cheat, lie, steal. No big deal, if you're straight. And are we really ready to look another person in the eye and say "You can't be with that person, and if you do it anyway you will most surely burn in hell." Is that even a sane?

I can't wrap my mind around the reality that some people really believe that if a person is openly gay and in the military soldiers will suffer and all hell will break loose. Oh, and transgendered people... forget about it. No way. They hide beind their computer screens and their bibles and their fear and hate pours out of their mouths like lava. And this community still wants to risk their lives so that you and I can enjoy our freedom. The freedom that we have so wrongly taken from them. In my opinion, these are the heros -- they protect us, even though we hate them and condem them to hell. They leave their families and fight for our country, even though we mock them and spit on them and beat them down until they are nothing.

Enough is enough.


  1. The comments that those people are leaving are absolutely rediculous. I saw one that said "Anybody who is for eliminating don't ask, don't tell, should start living EVERY minute of their life with an openly gay person and then tell me about it. If you like it, I would have to suspect you also are gay. I would also suspect you are anti military and just trying to find another way to make it harder for the armed forces to do their job."

    WOW. My fiancee and I lived with two openly gay men.....there is nothing wrong with it. People are SO close-minded and I just don't get it! How would allowing openly gay men into the military make it harder for the armed forces to do their job?? really. eh, nice to know other people feel like I do though.

  2. This is all so true! and you put it so well. It really is so so's true it does sometimes feel like we're moving a step backwards and it really is nauseating. I've heard a lot of homophobic remarks lately, and so much racism as sept 11th approaches. it's so sad, it leaves you feeling so hopeless.

  3. That was so eloqently put. Intolerance for others that are "different" is something I will never understand. When I hear people say "marriage should be between a man and a women" not same sex couples, I get so frustrated. There are so many people who feel that way, and I just want to scream Why DO YOU CARE, HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOU DIRECTLY, HOW DOES THAT CAUSE ANY HARM? Anyway, I just hope that with enough awareness and education will come acceptance. Maybe future generations will replace fear with enlightenment.
    Lovely post by the way.

  4. Kara, I feel exactly the same way. It breaks my heart and makes me wonder when this irrelevant kind of judgment will over and IF it will ever end. You know, I used to believe that our younger generation would put a stop to this. I assumed we would have a more open minded orientation overall...but I know that this is something bigger than a generation of people. This is sad slice of human nature implied in some people's mindsets. In some cases, discrimination is solely a person's character and I feel bad for those people. That is all I can feel towards them because what is more important is my support for not only our troops, but my friends, family, neighbors, coworkers....any one who has a category hanging above their heads, downing them when they least deserve it. I applaud you for this post and agree with you wholly. Much love.


speak your mind! always!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...