Monday, January 31, 2011

a little post about why social networks suck..

I know I am in the minority when I say that social networking sites sometimes create more drama than they're worth. On second thought, maybe I'm in the majority. Either way, I usually debate back and forth on whether or not to delete my facebook account on a weekly basis. I kind of joked about how silly facebook can be on Friday, but it's heartbreaking to know that deep down, people who hide behind computer screens sometimes say things that they would never say to your face. And it's a lot easier to do when you don't see the emotional repercussions your words have caused. But words can hurt, even really eloquently written and intentionally planned ones, and you can't take back things you have said... especially if they're sitting in an inbox like a bomb waiting to explode, able to be read and re-read and then analyzed. It really sucks.

I'm not going into specifics, because the person isn't here to defend themselves and also because I would never use this blog to bash anyone individually. But I'm sure anyone who reads this can relate in some way. Sometimes I overthink things, and over feel them. But I cherish my girlfriends and apologize if I have ever made anyone feel as though they are not important to me. That my life would somehow be better if they were not in it. But when some one tells you over facebook that the relationship you've both shared for two decades has felt ''fake'' for some time now, and it hasn't felt that way for me.... well, it hurts. Even through the beautiful imagery and pretty words. I want to say that if this person had said these things to me, face to face, they would have seen my face and my emotions and maybe they wouldn't have been so harsh.

I just really feel that facebook is not the place to have a serious talk. It isn't the place to tell some one you've been hurting for a while, because you can't see the other persons reactions and therefore you keep hurling insults when you've already broken them down. And neither is text or gchat or any other place other than face to face for that matter. Because if I would have been told these things in person (and I highly doubt they would have been told to this degree), there would have been room for dialogue. Room for empathy and compassion and time to re-word and re-explain. In short, the conversation would be left with something salvageable. Especially when 20 years is involved.

Overall, it's just really sad. I think that we have become so obsessed with computers and technology that we forget about our core; we forget about where we came from. The source of everything is and always will be relationships with other people. You can't hug your computer, and it's certainly not going to love you back. When things are written down, they stick around and continue to cause pain. You can't take them back. So my advice to anyone out there, is to please please please respect your friends enough to tell them how you feel in person. It's true that people sometimes grow apart, but you'd be surprised how easily relationships -especially friendships- can be built upon and made stronger if you just meet your friend for coffee or brunch and talk to them human to human, rather than computer to computer.

1 comment:

  1. I've just been thinking and getting more and more irritated about the lack of intelligence exhibited on facebook. It's a "fun" site, but why is it that a post about your kid taking a dump and getting poop on his finger gets a dozen comments whereas something insightful gets by-passed?...someone breaking a nail is all of a sudden "headline news" clipping is elevated to an art form...someone wakes up at 3 in the morning w/cramps and is in so much pain she needs to reach over to post it via her cell phone to fb!...we need to know EVERY week that Mondays suck! much you don't want to go to much you can't wait to get tired you are & how much your head hurts!... Also, a teen who is part of the high school honor society spells "subtle" like this: "suddle"!(Trust me, it wasn't one of those "acceptable" misspellings that people do on the computer.) It's no wonder our country is so far behind others (i.e. Japan, where they must actually REQUIRE some level of "smart" in order to graduate!) I guess I could always cancel my fb account, but other than the aggravation, I'm (at times) entertained with people's low IQ's! I don't mean to sound "self-righteous" or anything...just needed to vent and I can't do it on facebook because people just MIGHT figure out who I'm referring to!! I shall end this hoping that I haven't made any spelling/grammatical errors!


speak your mind! always!

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