Monday, March 15, 2010


Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. {Hal Borland}

It has been a long two weeks. We have only been in our loft for about 2 days before leaving again, and once we returned on Saturday I felt as though I never wanted to leave it again. It feels good to return to you own bed, lay on your own couch, and snuggle for hours with two dogs I have missed terribly. I also feel a little out of touch with my friends, and am ready for us to re-connect. Quickly.

This week I will start preparing for Mitchell & my transplant surgery that will happen the first week in April. I am working long hours to stay caught up, and making a special effort to see each of my clients before I leave. I keep trying to feel the way that others have been telling me I should feel... waiting for the fear to come or the reality that I am giving up one of my organs for another to have life. I don't feel like a hero or that I am doing anything special, and it's hard to explain this to friends and family when they ask. I know that there is good in each of us, and if anyone was in my position - the only living donor available - I think it would be hard for them to keep themselves from giving anything that they could.

I have actually been anticipating the surgery and almost wanting to hurry the process. I continue to strive to be patient and allow myself to fully prepare for this operation, not to rush it. I am thankful that the days have become longer, allowing me more time outside reflecting on this journey. I feel like this experience has brought me so close to myself and humanity. I am so  grateful that I am able to help -- that next month a teenager will have the opportunity to quit dyalisis and live life once again, without pain.

I continue to learn a lot from nature. Every morning I sit outside and feel surrounded by the calmness that only a cool breeze and the moonlight can bring. We are given so much from Mother Earth, that I am eager to give somthing back. I am also in awe of the steady awareness of life and what is really important that has been shown to me throughout all of the tests and meetings. I continue to appreciate the perspective that this opportunity has brought me.

I know that after I leave the hospital, I will return home. I will feel the comfort of being in a familiar place surrounded by people who love me and who are so important to who I have become. Mitchell will also return home, carrying with him a healthy kidney and hopefully a sense of peace. I am so ready for this connection and the serenity it is sure to bring.

No comments:

Post a Comment

speak your mind! always!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...