Thank You!

I remember a place... a town... a house like a lot of houses... a yard like a lot of other yards... on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I sill look back... with wonder.

{kevin arnold, the wonder year's}

I probably had the best childhood ever. I remember playing for hours in the feild behind our house, exploring through the woods, and lots & lots of swimming. There's an innocence that I will never forget, that still lives inside of me as if I were still 5 years old. I will always remember my old neighborhood and the memories that were made there. As if they are locked in time and will go on living forever.

Life is a gift and as I continue to cherish every moment, I can't help but look around and notice all of the love that surrounds me. My friends, family, husband have all supported me beyond imaginable. Without this support, I would not be the person that I am today. Because of them, my heart is bursting with compassion and love and I want to pay it forward and share this with the world!

Thank you so much for all of the kind words and comfort that have been sent to Mitchell and I as we prepare for this transplant. After one more round of testing, I will prepare for surgery and continue to smile as I think about the tremendous ammount of love that has been shown to our families in this past week. This love is my inspiration, and your friendship gives my life meaning and purpose.

Thank You!!!

A House in a Tree

{i want to live here!}

I have always always always wanted to live in a tree. This has been my dream my entire life. I think it's because even at a young age, I have always had an incredible connection to nature. I remember playing outside, and my best friend was a tree in our backyard. I used to dance and sing and play around it for hours. One day this tree was cut down, and I cried for days. I tried to bring it back to life by bringing it seeds and watering it's stump every morning. I felt like a peice of me died with her. I will always remember that tree.

Today I woke up feeling alone and a little sad. I have had so much going on lately that I haven't given myself a chance to be still. I miss the sunshine and a warm breeze wrapping me up like a blanket. I need to get back to nature. I miss her and the comfort she brings as she looks into my eyes without judgement. I need to feel the freedom that I once felt as a little girl, dancing around an oak tree without a care in the world.

~

 The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. {Anne Frank}

Finger's Crossed!!

{my god-brother and god-sister @ his first kidney transplamt}

It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.

{Albert Einstein}

Today I am going to be re-tested to see if I am eligable to donate my kidney to my god-brother, Mitchell. I was tested last June, but there was a reaction with my kidney tissue so the surgery was held off. I am hoping that things have changed and that his body accepts my tissue, otherwise he will have to take treatments so that we are compatable - if no one else steps forward. There is also the option of a paired kidney donation, which I would be more than willing to do for him.

Mitchell is only 16 years old, and when I think about what I was worried about at 16 {boys, driving, high school} it doesn't even compare. He is so strong. I have a lot of respect for Mitchell, because even though he is in pain, he does not show it. I hope that I am able to help in some way, and if I cannot help then I am sure that there is some one else who will come forward who can.

Everyone deserves a chance at life, especially Mitchell who still has so much ahead of him. Please cross your fingers that I am a match so that we can begin the transplant process. Also send a special prayer, thought, or positive vibe his way.

Namaste

Namaste: I Bow to You!

Today I am reflecting on life and how our entire universe is connected. I am a huuuuuge astronomy freak and was watching something on the Discovery Channel about the planets in our solar system and couldn't bring myself to do anything but watch in amazement. Did you know that the planet Mercury is actually shrinking and that it's core makes up 60% of it's entire body? This could mean that Mercury was actually a much bigger planet, and that some cosmic collision blasted away it's outer layer! Mercury is so close to the Sun that we don't know a lot about it, because it's hard to send a satellite into it's orbit without it getting drawn into the Sun's gravitational pull. This is so cool...there is so much out there to learn and discover!

I have a point to this rant, I swear. My point is that energy does not disappear and so it is my belief that our bodies are made up of the same energy that created this universe and beyond. We are breathing the same recycled air of our ancestors, and when we burry our loved ones their bodies decompose and become apart of the Earth. I could not exist without you, and you could not exist without me... because we are all connected in some way.

I think this is comforting, because we are never alone and the connection that one can feel with Mother Nature is almost empowering. Maybe we will never walk on Mars {maybe we will} but we are made up of the same atoms and electrons and protons and everything that Mars is made of. In essence, we are not individuals because we all need eachother to exist. My favorite Ben Kweller quote is this: A broken branch I'd be, if you weren't grown to me. Without you, I am not apart of the tree of life but rather a lonely branch {enter Lion King music as appropriate, ha ha}

Namaste is a word that I think of often. It means I Bow to You. I love this idea, because it means that we are able to notice the beauty and compassion that every single person is capable of. This is an idea that I hope to pass on to my children, and I hope they will one day be so full of love for others that they won't be able to help but to give everything they can to relieve a persons suffering. I'm not saying that my children will have to become Buddhists like me, or Christian's like my family, or anything at all. I only want for them to have the capability of loving without condition. Love is what's important, not the label a person puts on their belief system.

Please continue to think compassionatley about my god-brother and his family. I go in for testing tomorrow and I hope that I am able to help him in some way. If I can't donate my kidney, I have hope that some one will come forward who can. He deserves a chance.

Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.

{Henry Ward Beecher}

laughter :)

{college roomies + bff's}

I had so much fun this weekend - and I am returning to work this morning feeling entirely positive and refreshed. It was so good to see all of my friends who I have missed so dearly. I tried to get Gina to take me to see Goat Man but she was too scared.... and the 5 hour car ride wouldn't have been so much fun if it weren't for Denise! {i cheated a little bit on my vegan diet....oopsy.....}

This week I am going to carry this positive energy with me and focus on the moment. I want to get all that I can out of my job and figure out how to make it fun again. I think that Sean is finally settled with the idea that I may be donating my kidney in a few months... and my boss was so supportive that I feel I am exactly where I need to be at this point in my life. If all goes well Wednesday, I will be a match and Mitchell can get his life back!

I returned home this weekend to 2 happy puppies and a wonderful husband who spent the whole day cleaning our loft..... I am a pretty lucky girl! We spent the evening out together watching Shutter Island and going out to eat. It's nice when it's just the two of us.I hope you can all find the simple joy's in life and continue to be happy in every moment that you are able to experience!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

{e.e. cummings}

chickies fly to maryland to visit momma bird

This weekend's going to be awesome!!!!!!

{oldddd school!}

Today I am leaving work early and driving to Maryland to visit "Momma Bird" Gina and re-unite with some of my favorite women in the world! There isn't anything I miss more from college than the group of girls that I get to see tonight!

I am ready to relax and forget about all of the things in my life that stress me out... all I want is a bottle of wine, dancing and probably a good adventure with these chickies who make me love life and cherish the moment.

Best of all -- Nicky will be back in the states and I get to see her beautiful smile and soak in her positive energy. She's been in South Korea teaching.... for a whiiiiiile.... and everyone's excited to have her back for a few days!

I cannot wait to embrace each one of my best friends and talk about the good old days. Check out these pics so you can get a better idea of how amazing each of these girls are!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful -- inside & out!

P.S. - I can't wait to pick up Denise on the way... road trips are always much more fun with a girlfriend to gossip with! I hope everyone's weekend is as special as mine! xxoo

{update}

{mmmmmmmmmm!}

So I thought it was time to give an update on my diet, since the beginning of this month

I've decided to try going Macrobiotic. It's definintly not easy... but I already feel like I am healthier!

I decided that I will take a few things that I've learned from Macrobiotics and return to a Vegan diet. I will continue to eat whole grains and lots of raw veggies, and I am totally cutting processed foods out of my diet - very important! I'm also going to continue buying all organic foods and sugar-free juices.

I went to the grocery store yesterday and realized that my local grocery isn't very accommodating to Vegans. Whole Foods is 30 minutes away from our loft, so I wanted to see what I could buy in town. After a lot of searching  I found some really good items -- one of them being... VEGAN ICE CREAM!!!!!!!

I love ice cream, so this will make the transition much easier. Also... I was able to find chips that were vegan and stocked up on bananas and lots of yummy natural juices.

I am excited to dive into this new lifestyle because.....

1. It's good for the environment

2. Extremely healthy (Weight loss, lower cholesterol and blood pressure)

3. Our current food industry is exploitive and cruel (see Food, Inc. it will change your life!)

4. Buddhism promotes Veganism, because we are all connected and therefore all lives are equal

5. It's a way to be creative with food & try new things!

More Reason's to Drop Meat!

{please send positive energy, vibes & thoughts our way...}

I also wanted to update all of you on some news that I recieved yesterday.

The first thing I thought was "Wow, what a coincidence - my blog yesterday was about giving!"

My godbrother is very sick and needs a kidney transplant. We have known about this for a while, and this will be his second. I was tested in June to donate and the results were good, but not optimal.

So yesterday I was sitting at my desk and got a phone call. I answered and it was MCV - Mitchell needs a kidney transplant and they want me to go in for re-testing. I am scheduled to go in for blood work next Wednesday and {fingers crossed} hopefully I will be a match.

He is such a strong and brave spirit and I want to do anything possible to make sure that he is able

to enjoy life to the fullest.

I took a deep breath and sat down with my boss to give her the news. To my surprise, she was extremely supportive and assured me that it's possible for me to do the surgery and still get paid while I'm recovering.

Recovery can be anywhere from 2-4 months, and I am hoping that I will still be able to work 1/2 days in the office and then 1/2 days at home doing the paper work.

This, of course, may put things on hold as far as my career change... but I think it's worth it and if everything falls into place I am confident that this is somthing I should do.

Please take some time next Wednesday to think positivley about Mitchell, his family, my family and myself.

We need all the good vibes we can get right now!

{thanks in advance!}

A Village of 100...

{Watch the Video}

Yesterday, like many other days, I looked down at my Tom's Shoe's and started reading the words that ran across their fabric. I am lucky. Did you know that if we shrank the world down to a village of 100 people, 43 would live on less than two dollars a day? That doesn't even cover my frequent Starbuck's runs. Or that 58 of them have parasites? 23 drink polluted water... I don't even drink tap water.

I began searching the internet for more information about this "Miniature Earth" project, and felt my chest tighten as I realized that I take a lot in my life for granted. I began to think about all of the children in the world who eat dirt because they have no food. When I was little, I remember asking my mom if I could take all of the homeless people home - they would live in my backyard, and eat carrots. Looking back this is an impossible idea, and extremely simplistic {give me a break, I was 7!} but it made me realize that I need to get back to this mentality. I need to help out more.

It hurts to think about these statistics. It's uncomfortable. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am connected to these people and they are connected to this universe, as am I. I don't know them, but I love them.

I was reading a blog yesterday and a woman was talking about how every Saturday morning, each member of her family gets a grocery bag and fills it with things that they do not use on a regular basis. Every Saturday they do this. I thought to myself.... wow, how do they have anything left after several months of this cleaning? Then I started thinking about the bags and bags of clothes my husband and I have in our closet that we haven't even unpacked yet. It's been almost a year. I need to get some grocery bags...

We can all do more to help. I hope that you watch the video and feel the same discomfort in your chest as I did while watching. We are all in this together, and nobody deserves to suffer or to live in fear.

We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude towards it. Uproot guilt and plant forgivness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate -- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising.
{Maya Angelou}

What Makes You Happy?

One joy scatters a hundred griefs. {Chinese Proverb}

Goodmorning! I hope that you are feeling happy and refreshed today!

Yesterday was a day that completely lifted my spirits

and reminded me of what's really important in life.

Hint: It's not money!

I was lucky enough to have President's Day off, and so

I was able to sleep in for a bit before meeing

two of my best friends for a calming lunch and some

much needed girl time.

{BFF's: Me, Al & Britt}

It's nice to sit with them and catch up on life, especially

since these are two very special people who

get me. Words cannot describe my love for them!

After lunch I dropped off some donations at the group home I used to

work at. Before I knew it, 3 hours had passed and it felt as

if I was only there for half an hour....

It was so nice to see the girls happy and talkative

{it's always hit or miss - sometimes they aren't as excited}

and it was nice to catch up with them and where

they are at their lives since graduating from high school.

I also had so much fun talking with my boss, Marie

and laughing with her about old memories from when I was

working at the Home full time.

I confessed how much I missed it. I truly love those

girls and the atmosphere. We are like

a family - through thick and

thin I will always love them... even when they're crabby

and hard to be around. And I'm sure they

will say the same for me.

I am so proud of Marie.

She is from Haiti and just got news that she will be

adopting her neice who was effected by the earthquakes a few weeks ago.

She will be a great mother and having a child is

something that she has always wanted. I cannot wait for her to

hold her neice in her arms for the very first time. I know

she will feel complete.

It was good to laugh and forget about responsibilities for a while.

In general, it was the absolute perfect day!

{image credit}

Pretty Curves.

"81% of women feel inadequate compared to the media's image of women." -Dove

{Campaign for Beauty!}

I wasn't going to blog today. It's vacation because I have the day off. But I can't help myself from sharing a bit of inspiration with you :

It's been a while since I've felt pretty. My husband tells me "you are the prettiest girl in the universe!" and for some reason I don't see how anyone could think that. This is not a pitty post by any means! Today I woke up inspired -- I was reading one of my favorite blogs Boho Photography and I couldn't stop pressing the "older posts" button. I could not take my eyes off of the honesty she portrays in her post. She is brave, and such a calming spirit. She is so motherly and calming, that she sends me comfort without even knowing it.

I got to a video that she posted in late July, and she was talking about how she had been feeling uncomfortable with her curves. She had gained weight since her wedding and realized she was covering her body in layers of clothes... until her husband brought home a strapless dress (which she was wearing in the video, I assume). This caught me off guard. I thought... wow she's so beautiful how could she feel that way? I guess every woman struggles through these moments from time to time. It totally changed my perspective!

I have so many gorgeous friends, all different body types, and I have never judged their bodies. Why are we so hard on ourselves? I began thinking about how I have been stuck in the past, in high school, when I was about 20 pounds lighter. The same 20 pounds I have been trying to get rid of for the past three years!

enough is enough!!!
 

Reading her blog sparked so much inspiration in me. I got up and turned up my stereo and began danging around my living room with my dogs. I have never felt so beautiful and full of life. So I have decided: I am not going to wait until I lose those extra pounds before I feel pretty. I am not going to let it hold me back and I am no longer going to hide my body in layers of clothes!  

Try not to compare yourself to others - this is what I struggle with and what I am going to work on. Every woman is beautiful and unique, and no matter what the media says is "pretty"..... they are wrong!

We are all pretty!!!

This is my goal: to continue eating healthy, working out and treating my body with respect. I am not going to let my insecurities hold me back, because everyone has them and all they do is limit our possibilities. We are all beautiful and we are all connected to each other -- I will support my friends as they continue to support me, and I will believe my husband when he tells me that I am pretty!

Live for the moment and do not get stuck in the past or focus too much on the future. This moment is all we have, and before we know it - it's gone.

je t'aime mon chéri {i love you, my darling}

This weekend is going to be special.

Not only do I get a 3 day weekend... but it's

Valentine's Day!!!

We aren't planning anything special...

just a night together watching movies and ordering in.

I love spending time with my husband... he is my best friend.

Top 5 Things I Love About Sean:

1. His passion for his beliefs.

2. His acceptance of others different than him.

3. His support for our marriage and willingness to try harder every day.

4. His compassion for those less fortunate.

5. His ability to comfort & support me when I'm feeling my worst.

{Such a cutie - I love you, Sean!}

sunshine state of mind

"words can travel thousands of miles. May my words create mutual understanding and love. May they be as beautiful as gems, as lovely as flowers" {Thich Nhat Hanh}

Today I am back at work. I am sitting in this office, without

windows... thinking about the beach.

I love snow days --

but I am starting to miss the sunshine on my skin

and the warm breeze in my hair.

Today I am in a Sunshine state of mind.

I miss you, Sun....

Come out soon so we can play!

Until then, I will continue to live each moment

completley and plant seeds of love and

understanding wherever I go.

No Workie!!!

 

{find this pic here}

I hope that everyone is enjoying their day today -- I love this crazy weather! 

Work is cancelled and I just finished some yummy

vegan pancakes. 

Plans for the day:

Make Vegan Cookies

Snow Cream

Lots of Movies

Knitting

Cuddling with the pups

Spending time with Hubby

<3

Have a lovely Wednesday!

Best Cuddler Around!

{Meet Samson}

I think it is facinating that our pets can some how sense when we are not quite ourselves and possibly even a little sad. Lately I have not been myself, and nobody realizes this as much as my pup. We adopted Samson from the pound the November before last, and I actually feel like we have had him since he was a puppy. I can't remember life without him. He is probably the sweetest and cutest dog around {yes, he's better than yours!} and it's obvious how much he loves all of us - me, Sean, Pete, Imogen.... and basically anyone who walks through our door.

There's no bigger ego boost than watching Samson wait patiently for me while I'm getting ready - because he knows that after I get dressed in the mornings, I always always always sneak back into bed for another 30 minutes. He watches me with his big droopy eyes and usually has his tongue hanging out.... and then we climb into bed and he snuggles up as close as he possibly can to me. Pete is already waiting for me... but Samson waits for me to get back into bed. Lately he has been super cuddly and I think it's because he knows I've been sad. He doesn't know why... and he doesn't really need to understand that I am sad about my friend who passed away or that I am unhappy in my current job. He just sits and rests his head on my shoulders. When I got back from my friend's funeral, he layed with me while I cried. He is truly a support to me unlike any other.

I went to therapy today {which I highly reccomend, because it's nice to talk about yourself to some one every few weeks and just have them listen} and started thinking about how much I appreciate my family. My husband is such a great guy - and he allows me to be independent while also letting me know that he is there if I need him. We've been together since I was 14 years old and have gone through the good, bad and ugly... and he's never left my side! Pete is the baby of the family, and he makes me feel needed. Which is always nice. He's also a pretty good cuddler and absolutley loves tennis balls. Imogen is always good for a laugh. I love watching her play hide and seek with the dogs... and she has a great sense of humor. But Samson - he is like an old soul. He know's me and I think he really does understand me.

Maybe it's weird to dedicate today's blog to my pets - Samson in general - but they are always there to listen and I think that sometimes I forget that. They never interrupt or expect anything in return. My dogs and my ferrett help keep me connected to nature. They remind me that all living beings are the same - we all want to feel safe and we all need to be loved. No matter what happends today - I know my pets will have my back once I get home. And as for Sean... he made the best dang vegan chili around last night! He's pretty cool too :)

Macrobiotics is Hard!

Today is Monday. I am tired. Yesterday I found myself at a superbowl party... reading a magazine and feeling so awkward{as usual} as people screamed at the tv and we all stuffed our faces with chips, beer and wayyyyy too many other snacks. I think it has left me feeling weird today - so I need to snap out of it, and quickly! As the above quote says, You must be the change you want to see in the world. I will try to remember this today... besides, I have a lot to be thankful for!

I went shopping yesterday morning for macrobiotic foods and began to feel really overwhelmed, to be honest. First of all, I feel like I still have so much to learn. Second, it's hard to jump into this lifestyle alone.... none of my friends even know what macrobiotics is, and don't understand the benefits when I try to explain. So, my hubby and I took the long trek to Whole Foods and I decided to start simply. I bought things that were organic, vegan, un-sweetened and mostly important: included ingredients I could both pronounce and recongnize. I think I came out with some really great choices, now all I need to do is start trying out recepies.

As soon as I got home I started looking online for Miso Soup recepies and added some shittake mushrooms and onions for extra flavor -- to my surprise, it tastes amazing! I have never been much of a cook, so this was quite an ego boost and gave me a little glimpse of hope that this might actually work. I made enough for a week {you're apparently supposed to drink a bowl before every meal} and began to realize that this diet involves a LOT of cooking. Maybe I'll actually become better at cooking and learn to enjoy it! But as for now, it is work. I also made vegan cookies, because giving up sweets is going to be drastic and I want something available if and when I get a craving -- I did, however, use all natural ingredients... which made me proud!

{Here are some pics}

the miso -- as you can tell, there's a lot of stuff in here!

really good - I am interested to see how they will go with soy milk!

I cannot wait for this to become a habbit - and to continue learning so that shopping is easier and more relaxing than it was yesterday. I also need to start working on my career change... I think that will be my goal for this week. I need to make a few phone calls and get some information on obtaining a provisional license so that I can start teaching elementary school while I work on my master's degree. Any teachers out there with advice? Working in this office is beginning to bring my spirit down and I need an energy boost. I need people! I'll keep you updated on the macrobiotics and the career change.... by this time next year I will be a totally new, improved, self aware woman - and that is something worth smiling about!

Snow! Snow! Snow!

{Me with 2 of my college roommates a few years ago - Enjoying a snow day!}

I have been constantly checking the weather all week... and I seriously think we are in for a major snow/sleet storm this weekend {I could not be more excited}! It's not that I enjoy cold weather... trust me, there's no place I'd rather be than a sunny beach enjoying the ocean... but I have fell in love with the weather this year -- and it is not somthing we are used to around here! I love spending the day in my PJ's and being with my husband and pups for hours on end with nowhere to go. Sleeping in is also a plus :)

Depending on the weather, after work I am planning on going shopping so that I can really get a jump start on my Macrobiotic diet. Some favorites on my grocery list include: Wakame, Bancha Twig Tea, Nori Seaweed Sheets {for my chip addiction!}, Quinoa, Barley Miso, Dried Beans, Whole Wheat Spaghetti, Buckwheat Noodles & Pancakes, Couscous, Apple Sauce {great egg substitute for cooking!}, Corn, Shittaki Mushroons, Soy Milk & Cheese, Tempeh, Tofu and unrefined white sea salt. I'm not much of a cook, so I am really excited to see what my hubby Sean is able to cook up for us this weekend! Also -- one thing I have noticed in the past two weeks is that chewing your food completely makes you full faster! A lot faster! I love this! :)

Whatever happends this weekend, I am looking forward to spending time with the people I love. If it doesn't snow, I'm going to see Citizen Cope with some of my best friends and my parents will visit on Saturday. There's really no doubt in my mind that either way, this weekend will be spectacular!

Waking up this morning I smile.

Twenty-four brand new hours before me.

I vow to live fully in each moment

and to look at all beings with the eyes of love.

{Thich Nhat Hanh}

Change is Hard

{Such a Daddy's Girl!}

Lately I have been feeling a little restless with my current job and have been thinking about what I am good at and what I am passionate about. I love being around people, and my office job is so lonely and I find myself so bored that I cannot stand it. I love being around my clients, but when they do not show up for appointments I feel let down. I think I am burnt out. I know I am.

A few weeks ago I visited my dad at work and we talked a little about life. I told him that I was ready for some drastic changes in my life and he responded by saying "I just want you to be happy." As soon as I heard those words I felt like a weight had been taken off of my shoulder's. Almost like I have been trying to live up to my mom and dad's standards that were imaginary in my own mind. They don't expect me to be perfect, nobody is perfect. And that's the beauty of it I think. Our imperfections are often what make us the most beautiful and the most unique.

It's scary to think about switching careers -- especially in this economy. But the truth is, it's been bringing my spirit down lately and making me feel like I am waisting my talent on somthing I am not passionate about. And I believe it shows that I am not passionate in my current position, because I have not been my energetic self. In Buddhism, you are supposed to enjoy every moment and make the most out of any situation - good or bad {actually, nothing is "good" or "bad," those are just perceptions!}. So, I need to begin taking the steps necessary in changing careers, but while I am here I need to give it my all. I need to close my eyes and take the jump, because every moment should be cherished. I want to go to work without feeling like I am "working" -- doesn't everybody? This is why I am going to take this risk and follow my passion... and in the end I believe it will work out and I won't remember what I was so afraid of to begin with.

First {almost} Macrobiotic Meal!!!!!

 

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. {Anne Frank}

So I did not make it to Ekoji tonight, because I am so so exhausted... but I am excited that tonight is my very first Macrobiotic meal {minus the Quorn Chicken - which is imitation, if you didn't know}. Tonight we are having short grain brown rice and miso soup, and of course the rest of the Quorn. Very simple... but we are still learning and I haven't been able to get to the store yet for the good stuff! I feel better already :)

Sweet Dreams -- the weekend is almost here!

Snowwww!

{Pete}

We are supposed to get another big snow storm this weekend... and our household is crossing our fingers for another weekend snowed in together! It is so nice to stay in PJ's all day, watch movies and play outside with my pups Pete & Samson. As you can see -- Pete especially loves the snow! I get so much joy out of watching him play in it... I am so thankful that he has gotten to see so much of it lately!

Of course... this may put a damper on my Macrobiotics shopping spree that I had planned for Friday after work. Luckily, we have a few things in the house already - so I am still going to attempt a few meals. I must admit, I have been very intimidated by this diet because it is so drastic, but luckily every website I look at reccomends a slow transition... which is what I am going to do so that I can {hopefully} make this into a way of life for good. I am very dedicated to changing my lifestyle for the better, so I am confident that this will work out and within a year I will be a *full-on Macrobiotic freak* {as my friends lovingly call it}! Also, the support from The Blissful Chef has been so helpful -- she's awesome, follow her blog!

I am looking forward to going to my Sangha tonight for meditation. It's been wayyy too long - probably 2 weeks due to snow and scheduling conflicts. I meditate at home, but it's not the same as when I am around other Buddhists.... somthing in the atmosphere puts me at peace and every moment there is so precious. I hope that you also have a "safe haven" in your life... somewhere you can go and feel totally yourself and at peace. I supposed this weekends weather will cause services on Sunday to be cancelled - so I am looking forward to making tonights meditation especially meaningful.

Finding Peace.

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. {Mohandas Gandhi}

As I continue to grow and change, I have made it a priority to find peace with my spirit within every moment of my life. Anxiety is somthing that I struggle with. I am always worried about somthing and have a deep, uncomfortable feeling in my chest for sometimes no apparent reason. This is no way to live - there are too many beautiful things in life that I am missing through worry. Hey, admitting you have a problem is the first step!

As I continue to read The Heart of Buddha's Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh, I am begining to learn more about myself and how to relax. breathe. enjoy the moment. Yesterday I was reading the chapter about the Three Dharma Seals, and remembered that we are all connected. We are all in this together, we are apart of the universe. We do not exist by merely ourselves.

A favorite quote from yesterday's reading: "Before it was recognizable as a sheet of paper, it must have been somthing else -- a tree, a branch, sunshine, clouds, the earth. In its former life, the sheet of paper was all of these things. If you ask the sheet of paper, "Tell me about all your adventures," she will tell you, "Talk to a flower, a tree, or a cloud and listen to their stories."

A tree does not spend its time worrying. Why should I? This is somthing I will continue to repeate so that I can remember that there is so much more to life and death than I am capable of comprehending at this time. Maybe one day -- until then, I will continue to learn.

This brings me back to Macrobiotics. I am so excited to visit Whole Foods and pick out items that are natural and healthy. Macrobiotics is a spiritual way of life, it is so much more than eating. I cannot wait to get closer to my mother earth by eating foods that have not been altered. My grocery list has been made, I have been chewing {and chewing and chewing!} and I feel ready. This is right. This will bring me back to my roots - the tree, the sunshine, the flower, the ocean. These are all apart of me and I am apart of them. Life is beautiful and we are all in this together - there is no time or reason for anxiety. Enjoy the moment!

Let the Cleansing Begin!

{a gift from a good friend!}

So it's Monday.... and the start of a new month. I am struggling to remain positive today, but determined to do so! I assumed that my work would be cancelled {or at the very least delayed} and spent the evening drinking wine, watching movies & hanging out with my hubby until wayyyyy past my bedtime. To say the least, digging my car out this morning and "sliding" to work was not fun. But I am here, and I will make today a positive one. Besides, this weekend was very special because I was snowed in with Sean & the pups... and we never stay up late on Sunday's so I can't be too angry about the extra time I was able to spend with my husband.

February 1st has come - which means the transition to my new macrobiotic diet is finally about to begin. I am making a trip to Whole Foods this weekend {after I get some $$} and stocking up on all things organic and healthy. I am taking this week to prepare by planning practical meal plans and building a shopping list of basic supplies. This weekend was fun because we got to clean all of the "junk" out of our fridge -- meaning lots and lots of pancakes, frozen pizza, soda & veggie nuggets... mm mm mm! A huge part of Macrobiotics is being aware of what you are putting into your body, and there is a special focus placed on chewing your food properly. For example, when you are eating in your car {if you are anything like me!} you probably stuff your face and swalllow without chewing all of your food - I know... I probably gross a lot of people out when they see me doing this, but who cares. The point is, you should chew your food 30-50 times before swallowing so that the food can be broken down and all of the nutrients can be absorbed by your body. Also, it allows for mealtime to be a form of meditation... since you are focusing on counting rather than watching tv or talking. Macrobiotics is going to be an improved way of life, and I am optimistic and ready for a change.

I have learned a lot so far about Macrobiotics and it continues to facinate me. As a Buddhist, anything that brings about more awareness is awesome. I am excited about being more healthy and developing a new relationship with my body by taking better care of it. Also, I love any chance to build more meditation into my routine - so bring on 3 new meditation sessions a day!

On a lighter note, the photo above is a gift from one of my very good friends. When she gave it to me, I mentioned that in the past I haven't been the best at keeping plants alive. My husband often jokes about how I killed a bamboo plant within a week.... which is supposedly impressive. Not in a good way. I am really proud of myself every time I look at that plant and see how much it continues to grow. Maybe it's my inner Buddha nature coming to surface! Being aware is a good thing, and I welcome you to enjoy every moment of life because in an instant it can all be over.

"Be happy in the moment - that's enough. Each moment is all we need - not more." {Mother Teresa}